Is Your Worth Based on Love or Fear?

18 Apr 2012, by michelle in personal development, self-care, Stress

Yesterday was a challenging day.  I felt myself in a state of fear as I reworked the chapter on fear in my upcoming book.  Coincidence?  I don’t think so!

The truth of the matter is I am eager to get my book done.  In fact, I told my editor it would be done by early next week.  My fear was making me push myself.  I started questioning myself and became frustrated.  The chapter wasn’t feeling right.

Thankfully, I know how to understand my frustration from the higher consciousness of love.  In fact, my upcoming book Feel Every Emotion as Love teaches how each of your negative feelings presents themselves in order for you to get back on track from living from a state of love.  Each negative feeling has a specific message to guide you back on course.

My frustration was there to notify me that what I am doing isn’t going to work for me.  You see, in my quest to get my book finished, I have been lacking nurturing myself.  That’s when I realized how I had fallen back into basing my worth on fear rather than love.

Oh how often I do this – because I am a doer.  Doers are great and yet in order for our doing to be effective, it must be balanced with time to receive nurturance, love and care.  For me that is often taking time to read in the middle of the day, go for a walk, color, or turn on Ellen (I love her!).  I am only nurturing myself for 20-30 minutes and then I feel revitalized.

When I base my worth on fear, there is no time for nurturing myself.  My worth, I believe in that moment, is about getting things done at nearly all costs.  My frustration came in to remind me this is no longer my way.  Sure I will still get triggered from time to time when deadlines loom.  The truth of the matter is I wasted a ton of time yesterday pushing myself.  Way more time than the 20-30 minutes I usually give to myself as a nurturance break.

Not today – Today has already been magical and will continue to be so.  As I was rushing to get to yoga, another plan arose in me.  I knew I needed to get outside. I went for a run and I swear to you the butterflies were dancing with me.  The birds were singing, dragonflies twirling and bees humming along.  What a gift!

I came home and laid on the lawn.  Even though it was cool, I took off my sweatshirt and allowed the sun to soak into my bare arms and face.  I felt thoroughly connected again to the love that surrounds me as well as the love that radiates from within me.

From this place of where I stand now, where I am thoroughly connected to love, I am once again reminded of the important choice we all have.  We each have a choice, and it truly is your choice, to base your worth on love or fear.

I choose love.  From love, is where we can all be our best and truly be of service to others.   I am so grateful for the magic that occurs when we remember to love.

And now, I can’t wait to dive back into my book and share more deeply how our fear is here to serve us!  So I am off to share more of my insight there.

Before I go, I would love to hear from you.  Have you been basing your worth on fear rather than love lately?  What ways do you nurture yourself?  Please share because we aren’t on this journey alone and your messages impact others (whether your ego allows you to realize it or not)!

With great love and appreciation for you-


  • Jenny O-R

    Michelle, as always, you speak right to my heart and remind me of things I keep forgetting! I have been seeing myself from fear instead of love when it come to my boss and my work. I will again remind myself to see myself (and my boss) through the eyes of love! Thank you again! Much love to you!

    • Belinda


      I met someone who I love after a bad relationship breakup, tagging trust issues with into this beautiful relationship. I think I’m now being manipulative as I’m kind of afraid to left alone (funny I never had this desertion phobia before). Thanks for this article as this morning it opened my eyes to loving him instead of being afraid of losing him. I have now learned to respect his space and let him enjoy his life without being manipulated, next time I will be with him because of love and not for my self-serving ambitions! Thanks once more Michelle.

      • Wow Belinda – I so honor you for recognizing your fears and how that leads you to behaviors that don’t serve you. This is BIG Belinda – honor yourself for seeing your truth, as this will lead you to feel the love more fully in your life! Much love to you – Michelle

    • I know Jenny – it happens to us all and the quicker we get back to our truth, the more we can serve. Thank you for sharing yourself and being a part of this community. I always love hearing from you and the gifts you teach through your openness as well. Much love to you!

  • kathy toton

    Michelle you are truly gifted to realize this at such a early stage of your life..For some(me) their was always a someday in the back of my mind.Now that I’m old I know my somedays are coming to a end and my somedays are now…We all need reminders ..KEEP SPREADING THE GOOD NEWS

    • Thank you so so much for sharing. What you share is that for all of us are somedays are now. Each day is a gift and I am so grateful for you! Much love to you always

  • Carol Merchasin

    Oh, Michelle, I have missed you! And I was reading this while watching Ellen….

    I am also in the final stages of a book and I am operating a lot out of fear – fear that I won’t get finished, fear that I will, fear of an unnamed failure, you name it, I am afraid of it. For me, I rely on schedule and a healthy routine to nurture myself. I keep an Annie Dillard quote on my desk, “A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time.”



    • Yeah Carol!!! You are doing it – it is done :))) So happy for you. Yes, fear is part of the book writing process because we are stretching and EXPANDING! So excited to see your love and wit in print. Much love to you – Michelle