Breaking Your Measuring Stick10 Apr 2014, by personal development in
Your measuring stick is what you use to prove to yourself that you are not enough. It sounds terrible and torturous, yet it is so easy to fall into this trap.
To find your measuring stick, you don’t have to look far. All you need to do is go to the story within you that occasionally tells you that you are not enough.
Where does your measuring stick show up?
Common areas we use to measure our self-worth:
• Our partner/spouse’s success or attentiveness
• Our children success or attentiveness
• Your popularity
• Your lack of being able to do anything that others seemingly easily do
You can bet that where your measuring stick shows up is
exactly where you are unknowingly giving your power away.
You see, what your measuring stick does is have you look outside yourself to create evidence or proof that you are enough. That’s not how the Universe works, however.
The Universe can only mirror back to you what you believe about yourself. This is exactly how we create a self-fulfilling prophesy of what we internally believe about ourselves being recreated over and over again in our reality in unfulfilling ways.
So what’s a person a measuring stick supposed to do?
Break the damn thing!
1. Get over blaming that someone else created that measuring stick for you.
While it is likely very true, you have the power to:
a) No longer agree with that person’s way of measuring you, and
b) Set boundaries with that person regarding no more tolerating their measurement of you in that way.
2. Recognize you can never, ever, EVER meet the standards your ego has created as the criteria for you to be “Good Enough.”
Seriously, take a moment and write down what would it actually take for you to be good enough to your ego, your gremlins, your false self. Write down the laundry list and really look at what you are telling yourself.
I warned you this would be a challenging one. Your are likely thinking your measuring stick in no way serves you. Your measuring stick (or sticks) only make you feel bad about yourself. This is true.
So, let’s then take it a step deeper. How does it serve you to feel bad about yourself? Well, to sum it up, feeling bad about yourself keeps you safe. Think about it, when you feel bad about yourself, you give up, stop trying, or inhibit yourself from bold forward movements – all of which keeps your life status-quo.
You’ve heard me say it a million times that your ego’s job is keep you safe. What this means is you and only you have to be the one that say:
“No thanks ego.
I appreciate you trying to keep me small and protect me,
but I can no longer keep beating myself down with this measuring stick
that is impossible to live up to being.”
4. Define your own standard and acknowledge yourself for honoring your own standard.
What qualities about yourself are important for you to demonstrate throughout your day?
Write down the qualities you value and acknowledge yourself for living your life according to your own standards. In doing so, you regain your internal power because you won’t be looking outside of yourself for others to approve of you. Instead, you’ll be turning within to acknowledge yourself for living according to the values that are an expression of you living from your true self.
In a moment, you can change your story and redefine your life according to you.