2 Important Messages I’ve Learned Working with People Who are Depressed and Suicidal08 Jun 2018, by Uncategorized in
The statistics are alarming that every 40 seconds, someone takes their life. Even more often are attempts that thankfully did not meet the intended objective of ending one’s life. I want to share two important aspects that have been significant to those I have supported overcoming depression and suicide, in case this can help you or someone you know who is internally struggling.
- You aren’t “crazy” for how you feel. (“Crazy” being a common term my clients use, not me. I explain more below). One of the most heartbreaking aspects of our culture is our misunderstanding regarding our emotions. This misunderstanding makes people feel that when they are experiencing negative emotions and their negative feelings don’t stop that there is something wrong with them. This is especially the case when these sensitive souls feel they really shouldn’t feel as bad as they do because their life has been blessed or they don’t have circumstances as bad as someone else. In every case, what I have seen is that my clients emotions are always trying to tell my client something very significant. This was very important for my clients to understand because they realized there isn’t something wrong with them and they are NOT going “crazy.” They just haven’t understood what their emotions were telling them. Once they understand, they have a path to move forward toward again. It’s not an easy path, by any means, but as they move forward, they connect again with their essence and truth. This in and of itself is a relief.
- It’s exhausting trying to get rid of negative feelings that keeps coming back. The more exhausted one becomes, the more hopeless one becomes. The more hopeless one becomes, the more likely they lose perspective as to why they are here. In every case, I’ve guided my clients to not try to get rid of their negative feelings but understand the guidance and message they are offering. It appears to be a tall order at first, because of all the negative messages and experiences they have had with their negative feelings taking over them. However, what I teach is that behind darkness, there is always light. Together, we find the light and the internal guidance coming from them through their emotions. As they take those steps, they experience the negative emotions diminish. Not all at once, but step by courageous step.
The body of work I teach comes from my own journey of being depressed, anxious, and struggling with suicidal ideation. I get why people never know those who are struggling with being suicidal. These are caring people that feel they don’t want to “burden” others with this “weak,” “broken,” aspect of themselves that they’ve been taught to believe is all in their head. That they’ve been told that if they could just think differently would change. Clearly, this does not work for everyone. It didn’t for me.
What worked for myself and others is understanding the language of our emotions and what on earth they could be telling us when we feel so despondent toward life. I remember thinking it was such a sick joke being as emotional as I was. That was until I learned how much our emotions are trying to guide us.
I know that may sound weird to some people that our negative emotions have a language and that each feeling has specific guidance to help us feel good again. If that’s the case, just remember all the ways health has shifted over the years.
We used to have breads, cereal, and pasta as the primary source of nutrition, and now the food pyramid is almost flipped on it’s head.
Not too long ago, anyone that jogged was considered a health nut. Now it’s less likely if you have never gone for a jog.
We used to be believe intuition was foolish and illogical and today, we have CEO’s crediting their intuition as a part of their success.
With our emotional health in crisis, I invite us to widen our perspective that believes getting rid of our negative feelings is the answer. Perhaps instead, there is something to why all of our emotions actually exist. Perhaps they are telling us something we need to hear but have temporarily forgotten how to listen to them in a way that can actually help us.
If it would help you to feel less alone with how you feel or if you would like to learn how to listen to your negative feelings and you are internally struggling, I am happy to send you a complementary e-copy of my book F.E.E.L.; Turn Your Negative Feelings into Your Greatest Allies. I’m not saying this book is the answer, it may just offer a perspective that makes the emotional side of you feel more understood. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and a team member will send that to you.
IMPORTANT: If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please first contact your national suicide hotline. I can’t speak to how accurate this link is, but it lists all the hotlines available for each country. You can access the hotlines list here.
Lastly, to you who feel so much pain that you don’t have the energy to feel anymore, you are not alone.
What I want you to know is:
No matter how good your life looks on the outside, you have a right to feel pain on the inside.
No matter how terrible your circumstance are, you are not your circumstances, and there is way through them.
No matter how helpless you feel, there IS a path to feeling better again. (It may not be a traditional path, but there IS a path).
Your life, your energy, your love, your care would be missed. Even if you believe your pain is too much for those that love you, the pain of losing you would be more and that pain over losing you would never be forgotten.
Tell 1 person you trust the depths of your pain. Instead of reaching for death, reach again for life. Your life! Because you, soul-sisters and soul-brothers, who feel so much, you matter more than you know!