You’ve Got to Get Dirty to Spring Clean Your Life!

I must admit, March is one of my least favorite months.  Here in Wisconsin, the weather isn’t quite as warm as I would like, days are gloomy and all I see around me is a lot of mud.  My twin boys attend a nature preschool, where they take long hikes and play outside for a good part of their day.  Their clothes come back filthy, which always guarantees another load of laundry for me to do. It would be easy to say to myself,  “Michelle, you just need to get out of here and get some sun.”  Luckily, I know that if I just looked at my feelings on a surface level, I would be blowing off a huge opportunity. 

As many of you have heard me share before, nature is a great teacher and this certainly applies to March.  Prior to spring, we are in more darkness than light.  What many are not aware of is how much our well-being imitates nature.  During those darker hours, we are being given a prime opportunity to look into the darkness of the shadows of our being.  By bringing our emotional shadows into our awareness, we shed light on that which we once feared. 

For me it is like clockwork ….when March comes I know I am being asked to get dirty.  Unlike my kids, my getting dirty is about shining light on that which I would rather ignore by attending to messages of my ego.  Let’s face it, in the short-term, blowing off these messages is just easier.  After all, life still feels good.  Why not just go with that?  Well, the reason why I don’t is because I know how to F.E.E.L.: Feel Every Emotion as Love™.

The concept of F.E.E.L™ is a shift in consciousness toward understanding our emotional well-being.  This emotional consciousness shift allows me to see beyond the limited understanding of our feelings that are based upon the ego.  In doing so, rather than go on with life feeling 85% good and 15% off, I consciously choose to bring up that 15% and see what that is all about.  Rather than stay with the surface of the situation ( in my case the weather) there is so much rich opportunity to discover what is really going on within me. 

Think about what you have to do prior to you planting seeds.  You have to clear the surface and dig up underneath.  You want that soil to be turned, shed light on that which has been buried and give it some air.  The same needs to happen within us.  And just like nature if you properly attend to the soil in which you plant your seeds, you will reap the rewards later!

So how do you begin?  First of all you have to trust yourself that you can handle the feeling underneath the surface of you.  You may avoid your feelings altogether because you have had negative experiences when an uncomfortable feeling is brought into your awareness.  There is a difference, however, when you consciously choose to bring up a negative feeling which is you are still in control.  When a feeling bursts out from you, you are in a reactionary state.  By consciously bringing an uncomfortable feeling into your awareness you can differentiate in your mind the messages that come with it that are from the ego (which will be deflating to you) and those that come from love ( which will support you to move forward with creating your ideal life!)  Having that information is priceless!  Now instead of 15 % struggling (or whatever that percentage is for you), you have clarity about what you need to do.  You also have experienced more of your power as you now have reclaimed 15% more of your energy and attention that can go toward fulfilling your life’s purpose and passions!

So before spring is sprung, I encourage you to allow yourself to get a little dirty this spring.  As you do, commend yourself for being willing to do what that vast majority won’t.  You are choosing an enlightened path which takes much courage. 

I just started with a new client this week and before we started she said, “I am ready to get dirty!” and I just had to laugh.   Boy was she right and the rewards she is already reaping from just one session will forever change her life.  Remind yourself that you too are worth it to F.E.E.L: Feel Every Emotion as Love!

Happy Digging!

Michelle

The Antidote to Feeling Stressed Out!

New Amazing Project I Am Working On = Increase In Stress

Find Out My Shift in Perspective that is Supporting Me Immensely!

I am having a serious struggle right now not to reveal to you what I am working on but I don’t want to ruin the surprise.  All I can say is that it is going to offer you amazing support to consciously grow and I am giving it to you for FREE!  Okay, that is it.  I cannot reveal anymore now.

What I do what to share with you is a couple of ways that are really working to support me during a time that has increased stress.  I am sure you too have had those periods in your life when something happens that could be good, challenging or both, which adds more to your already full plate.  My plate, like so many of yours, is already filled with raising three kids, running a business and maintaining my household as well as a sense of balance.  Now added to that mix are details and deadlines that I have to attend to in addition to those other wonderful aspects of my life that need my attention.

So what am I doing to handle the increase in stressful situations?  I prepare for my stress.  I don’t try to think positively and pretend it doesn’t exist.  No, instead I affirm that I have an increase of responsibilities and think about how I am going to take care of myself given this truth to my reality.  I have always been big on nurturing myself but now I make sure to give myself at least 20 minutes during my work day to take a break. 

Yes, during a time when I have more to do, I am taking more breaks.  Why?  I need those breaks because when I am working, I need to be super efficient.  I need to give my mind a book, a walk in nature or time to stare out the window in order that it can let go of the details and just be.  My morning meditation is not enough to sustain my spirit all day otherwise.

I am also an observer to my process.  I watch my language and stories regarding this time.  Care is put toward being real about what I have to do while not going into a victim or martyr mentality about this time.  The truth is that this period, which is challenging me, is also an immense gift.  I truly believe how I handle this demonstrates whether I can handle the added responsibility that sometimes comes with bigger gifts.  Am I going to lose my true essence and forgo nurturing by over identifying myself with this project?  Or am I going to claim my truth worth each day by continuing to nourish and care for my spirit because I know my essence is my authentic expression? 

The truth is that sometimes I find myself leaning toward the end of the continuum that is exhaustion.  I don’t go there but my mind at times wants to take me there when the details start to feel overwhelming.  That is my cue to stop, take a break and then listen to where I am truly being guided to put my energy. 

Being the observer of myself through this process has allowed me to stay feeling greater balance and joy in the process than I expected. As I integrate these ways of approaching this very full time in my life, I feel proud of myself.  I am proud of myself not for what I do each day but for who I am. 

None of us will get a true sense of fulfillment based upon how much we get done on our to-do lists.  You feel fulfilled when you are living in alignment with your true essence.  Even when you are being called to give of your energy in a certain way, know that it doesn’t equate to losing yourself in the process. 

 I feel grateful to have found these ways to live feeling a deep fulfillment and commitment to my life’s purpose and work.  I hope that you may also apply these to your life when those periods of increase stress and responsibility pop up.  Whether challenging or exhilarating, these times are meant to shift us to more fully own our true power.  It is just a matter of finding your way to claim it!

 Live Authentically – Live Exceptionally Well,

Michelle

Finding Your Sweet Spot – In Meditation that Is!

Come on admit it, when you first saw the words “sweet spot” did your mind immedicately go to sex?  (Okay, mine did!)  Here is the gift in having both psychotherapy training and life coaching.  I can talk about very personal points while addressing the spiritual.  This is what I came up with:  I believe there are some great comparisons to finding your sexual sweet spot and your meditative one.  Because I believe it is more challenging to find your meditative sweet spot, that is where I am going to keep my focus!

First, you may be wondering what I mean by your sweet spot when it comes to mediation.  Your meditative sweet spot is where you are flowing in some zone that simultaneously has no feeling yet, feels extremely good.  For me, my meditative sweet spot also feels like home.  To find it, there are some similarities to finding your sexual sweet spot as well as your meditative one.  Here they are:

1) The more you practice, the easier you find it

2) You can’t just jump into your sweet spot, it takes patience

3) You need to be in the present moment

Although my meditative sweet spot can be more allusive, it is worth the patience and practice.  Sometimes, I can ride the energetic wave that I am on and sometimes my mind and/or feelings distract me.  More often than not the later is the case.  Nevertheless, not being in my meditative zone does not mean that the mediation was ineffective.  Just quieting myself, even if I only last 5 minutes, does wonders.  It also affirms my commitment to connecting with my spiritual self.  Allow yourself to learn to ride the meditative wave.  Watch it build and then you will find your sweet spot as well!

Live Authentically – Live Exceptionally Well,

Michelle

What to do when your feelings are rejected?

When I work with couples, especially, I see how easily it is for one or both people to feel like his/her feelings have been rejected.  Have you ever felt like you have shared something personal only to find another’s reaction to be less than supportive?  What happens is that you share a feeling or pain that is so vulnerable to you, yet because that other person is in her/his own world of pain, she/he cannot be present with you.

Recently, I experienced the rejection and judgment of another after I posted my blog “Not my finest moment.”  The comment was something like “You cry baby pain in the *&%^#, try living in Afghanistan and you will really have something to be in pain about.”

The comment wasn’t quite that nice as stated above, but you get the picture.  My knee-jerk reaction caused me to delete the comment.  Immediately after, I was sorry I did because there was an opportunity to learn and grow from each other.

I reacted the way I did out of my own shame.  For a moment, I thought that person was right, as I have no conceptualization of what their pain feels like.   Although this is true, it is also true that everyone’s pain is relative and dependent on their unique circumstances.  Unfortunately, I have seen too many people suffer with their own pain due to their own belittling of how they feel or someone else belittling their feelings.

For so long, I told myself that I had no right to feel the way I did because in most every respect, I had been dealt a good life.  What I learned to do was deny how I felt and tried to put a smile on my face.  But facts are facts and the fact was at one point in my life I was really sad.  Day after day I carried the weight of how I felt inside me because I was too ashamed to admit how I really felt.  Finally, I couldn’t carry the weight alone any longer.  That is when I realized that even though I have had a good life in many ways doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to feel the way I do.

Others, who are in their own pain, will not agree that you have the right to be in yours.  Their pain is so overwhelming they cannot even see you for you.  There is no way to connect.  The truth is they cannot even see their true sense of self because their pain has overtaken their conceptualization of self.

This is when you have two very important decisions.  One is not to dismiss your pain out of shame.  By knowing you do not need to justify to anyone how you feel, you are able to use your feelings to propel you, rather than weigh you down.  The second choice is to have compassion for their pain.  You have the ability to connect with them through energetic compassion because you both have known pain, no matter how different the pain may look.  It is then that you have the opportunity to model how to transform pain into power.

I am sorry I lost a friend in Afghanistan but even more regretful that I didn’t take the opportunity of how she/he could transform her/his anger into power.  Rather than utilizing her anger from an ego level, there is another opportunity to use that same voice to inform.  That same voice that criticized could also be the voice that shares greater understanding of the emotional, physical and mental toll it takes on someone to live in a war-torn country or to live feeling oppressed.

The bottom line is that when another lacks compassion for you, it is a great opportunity for growth for everyone involved.  Don’t take the rejection personally.  The reaction you are getting is really about the other person’s own rejection of their authentic self.

Live Authentically – Live Exceptionally Well,

Michelle

The Deeper Meaning to the Fall Equinox

The fall equinox is on Sept 22^nd this year.  Although the equinox is most noted for being the time of year when daylight and night hours are equal in length, there is deeper significance.  The fall equinox, in particular, is a time to celebrate the abundance that we have in our lives.

As we enter fall, we have the opportunity to celebrate as our ancestors once did.  Created from the seeds planted earlier in the year that you care and nurtured is now a bounty for you to enjoy.   The fall equinox is a time for gratitude and celebration of your bounty.

You all have abundance and I would love to hear about it!  Please share ways in which you feel abundance and/or gratitude in your life in honor of this special time of year.