When it was your time to make a move, to take a leap, or to go for what you wanted, have you ever froze?
One of my earliest memories of that happening to me was being chosen to go on stage for the live children’s television show called the “Bozo Show.” Bozo was a clown, who made us all laugh with fun and games played on his show. One of the games played was called Bozo Buckets. That was the game I was called on stage to play.
Bozo buckets is played by having each contestant line up in front of a row of buckets. The buckets start just a few inches from under your feet and then get further and further away from you. Each participant tries to get a ball into each bucket, trying to progress further and further down the line. The game is set up so everyone wins at least one prize because the first bucket is nearly impossible to miss. The goal is to become the “Grand-Prize Winner” being the one who gets a ball in the furthest bucket.
I was just a wee-little thing, maybe five or six years old. I remember being lined up with other kids and a huge audience staring at us all. Suddenly it was my turn. There in front of me, nearly under my feet, was the first bucket. Before I knew what was going on I was handed a ball and immediately threw it. No focus, no aim, just a throw. And….I completely missed the bucket.
Now let me reiterate the fact that NO ONE misses the first bucket – not even two or three year olds. It was that easy.
What happened? I froze.
In a matter of nano-seconds, a part of my inner world was shattered. Bozo buckets is my first memory of shame. No one shamed me, per say, that I remember. What I remember is my own sense of disappointment and feeling not good enough. I blew it!
This little girl who blew the bozo buckets has stayed with me unconsciously for a very long time. She’s the part of me that easily got hurt about not being enough. She’s also the part of me who tried extra hard not to disappoint, to prove my worth, and to be a source of pride.
The fact is, she is still with me. The difference is she is no longer my shadow. I am conscious of her now. She still shows up as my fears, my uncertainties, and my doubts. My job is to recognize her calling and to address her needs from love rather than fear.
We all have moments of being scared of our own shadows that cast self-doubts. Sometimes these self-doubts show up as not feeling good enough to claim what we really desire, and hold onto the belief that your dream is possible. Other times, the shadow appears as a sense of uncertainty about what the future holds for you. Your unconscious fears get triggered, which holds you back from the full freedom of being you.
We have always had the choice as to whether to believe in our Empowered Selves over our small selves.
Making your Empowered SELF front and center in your life is crucial now more than ever!
As I stated at the end of 2011, 2012 is a year of letting go. Let go of old ways of viewing yourself, of habits that no longer serve you, of tolerating less than what your heart desires for you to have in all areas of your life.
Now, prior to our shift into 2013, is an opportunity: an energetic portal that is about supporting you to shift out of unconscious fear and awaken to the greater good, power, and love that exists within you and within the world.
This is your time: a time of creating a new inner grid from which you navigate your life and the great news is that doing so is easier than you think.
Don’t allow your small self to ignore how important an inner shift is needed.
Let me show you what I have learned, so you can utilize this momentous time of awakening to greater love to nourish and fuel you and the special creations you were born to share.
Join me for a live online seminar on 12/12/12 at 12pm Central
by signing up at www.welcomingtheshift.info
And if you know others who are ready to increase self-compassion and enhance their natural vibrancy, please pass this information along so they too can join us as well.
Shifting to Greater Love Together,
PS: For those of you near the Milwaukee area, come for a special in-person event at Feronia Wellness this Saturday, Dec 8th beginning at 1pm. Amazing teachers are coming together to share how to Embrace the Shift!
Enjoy mediation, teachings, and a sound healing concert.
For more information, click here.
Whenever we complain, it is because we are experiencing a level of dissatisfaction about a situation. Our sense of dissatisfaction occurs when a situation is creating stress, complications, or problems. Through complaining, we are hoping to be heard and ultimately to address a deeper, unconscious need of being seen, recognized, and valued. Hence, the real reason we complain is when we don’t feel our needs are being adequately honored.
When you are able to recognize how a situation is making you feel dishonored, you are able to voice your complaint from an empowered standpoint rather than lack. Most people, unfortunately, do not feel as if their voice matters, which makes their complaints ineffective. When you don’t feel empowered, whether that is at work or in a relationship, you don’t offer strategies to change the situation. From a place of unconscious disempowerment is while you’ll turn to making snide comments, gossip, or just plain being rude. These acts of disempowerment are your ego’s way to try to reclaim power, which of course not only doesn’t work, but also reinforces your sense of powerlessness.
Approaching Your Complaint from an Empowered Stance
When you approach a complaint from an empowered stance, you recognize the benefit in creating a change for everyone involved and you are able to voice those advantages to others. When you are truly connected to the advantages this has for the overall good, you are able to present yourself with greater confidence as well as compassion. You are able to look someone in the eye because you have the clarity for a better vision. At the same time, you are open to understanding where others are coming from as well. From this stance, you may encounter new information that allows you to recognize what changes you could make as well. Ultimately, this leads to more effective communication and connection.
In order to ensure you are addressing a complaint from an empowered stance, be cognizant of timing. First, make sure you are able to respond rather than react to your own feelings. When you react, you come from a place of lack and powerlessness, which shows up as blame. On the other hand, when you take a step back, you are able to respond to your feelings. By choosing to respond from an empowered stance, you are able to recognize how your feelings are guiding you to take action toward changing the circumstances. Rather than taking out the situation on another (regardless of how involved they are in creating that circumstance), your empowered stance recognizes this as on opportunity to cause a mutually beneficial change. The situation then automatically shifts from complaining and blaming another, to a discussion in which you claim responsibility for your needs at a deeper level.
Secondly, you are going to have better results by also being aware of timing for those whom you are approaching about a complaint. If they seem flustered or overwhelmed, save broaching the subject for a time when they can really listen to you. If this is something that is pressing, you can state to the person “I need to talk to you about something that is very important. My sense is that now may not be a good time. Can you give me a time today when you can take a few minutes to sit down and have a ten minute discussion?” This approach lets the other person involved know that you are thoughtful of both their feelings and their time, which leads to them being more receptive to what you have to share.
The bottom line is your complaints matter! Even if they do not feel received from another, even when you approach them from an empowered place, they matter. The reason is because this information about you not feeling heard, seen, or validated is important for YOU to take in about what decisions you need to make. Rather than look outside yourself for validation, see how this situation is guiding you to validate yourself from within first and foremost. From this place of inner validation, you gain the certainty about what next step is for your highest good, as well as those involved, and can respond from empowered love rather than fear or lack.
Should you currently be having a challenge with a certain area where your needs aren’t being met, I encourage you to join my upcoming online seminar The Keys to Emotional Mastery. It is often when you have issue with another, that you are being given an opportunity to access more of your truth and evolve. It is also where we often get stuck. Join this FREE gathering so you too can learn how your feelings are guiding you to become more aware of your inner truth and wisdom. Register here: www.keystoemotionalmastery.com/
Live Fearless – Choose Love,
PS: I would love to hear about your complaints. Do you allow yourself to complain or bite your tongue? Have you approached your complaints from love or fear, now that you are able to look back at them? Would it also be helpful for me to cover how not to take complaints or criticisms directed toward you so personally?? Keep me posted and share your thoughts below!
In the last couple of months, I have been fortunate to do some travel that’s been all about FUN! One of those trips was shortly after my book launch where my husband and I got away to Old Quebec -sans kids!! Needless to say we had a blast. We were thrilled to get away to a French speaking land where croissants and cappuccinos were found around every corner.
One of our adventures was traveling to the Montmorency Falls. We were told this was about 8 miles from our hotel and were lent bikes to make the trek. “Just go up to the market and follow the trails,” we were directed. Little did we know there would be multiple trails and with little French under our belts, we went the wrong way. This made our 16 mile round-trip ride turn into a 30 mile adventure.
Although I was exhausted by the end of it, I was filled with appreciation for two main reasons. The first was being able to see even more of the country than we planned (especially the exquisite falls) and the second was recognizing how much easier it was to navigate the adventure without kids in tow.
This reminded me of how often we are not just dealing with our own emotions. Our feelings are impacted by those around us and how they are feeling in the moment as well. Just one challenge can stir the pot. With the multitude of challenges you can encounter in any one day, it is easy to find on one of those more challenging days that you find yourself feeling as if you are living on an emotional roller coaster.
My point is feelings happen. When you find yourself on that emotional roller coaster, check out my video this week on how you can get off quickly and easily:
Please share the wealth and spread to the message of love to those you know who are caught in the ups and downs of life!
Live Fearlessly – Choose Love,
Remember at the beginning of the year how I said 2012 was a year of letting go? How is that going for you thus far? Are you experiencing some emotional depths as well as the highs?
If you are in the process of transformation – your answer is a resounding yes! Emotional highs and lows is what transformation feels like. Your emotions bring you head on with your fears in order for you to make a profound choice. Are you going to stay in the safety of who you are right now or are you going to share more of yourself in love.
Let me be clear that there is absolutely nothing wrong with where you are. You don’t need to “strive” to be anything more than who you authentically are. The emotions you experience are there to support you to do just that, experience your true self emanating the love that naturally comes within you. In other words, your negative feelings are your natural indicator telling you there is more love within you ready to be experienced, felt and seen.
You see, there comes a point when the love within you cannot bear to stay trapped inside any longer. It must come out and be expressed more fully. This shows up as negative feelings challenging you with your career, relationships, money, health, you name it – ALL SO YOU CAN EXPERIENCE MORE OF THE LOVE THAT IS WITHIN YOU!
To experience more of the love within you, you have to be awoken to when you are unconsciously responding from a place of fear. That is what your negative feelings are there for – to support you to recognize when you are responding from fear rather than love.
Your authentic essence is signaling to you through your negative feelings, saying: “Come on, you are ready to experience more of the love within you. I know it is scary to let go of this illusion of safety your fear brings. Trust me, how good you will feel in the long-term, when you feel more clear and certain about the unique expression of the love that resides within you.”
I know change and letting go of old patterns, beliefs and thoughts can be tough. It can be tough to switch from struggling with your negative emotions to actually recognizing the loving energy coming through them. Yet what choice do we really have? All we really have to choose from is love over fear as much as possible.
Sometimes I choose fear. Thanks to my negative feelings, I don’t stay there too long. My negative feelings remind me that in choosing fear, how uncomfortable and painful it is.
You remember this challenge you are experiencing isn’t really about you on a spiritual level. This challenge is about you being able to impact others with your unique expression of love – an expression that can only come from you. More importantly, your unique expression of love is NEEDED by others, whether that is your family, the company you work for, your community. The point is you don’t know who your love will touch, nor do you need to know. You are just being called to share more of it each and every time you experience a negative feeling.
You being your unique expression of love isn’t about being lovey-dovey per-say. All it is about is getting clearer about who you truly are, what you came here to do and you valuing this deepest truth so it more fully solidifies within you. When your knowingness of the love within you is unwavering, you feel free.
With love for you as you open yourself up to the amazing love within you-
PS: I really do want to hear how your transformation process is going this year. Share your comments below or email me at email@example.com.
It is so easy nowadays to get triggered with a sense of lack:
- You see people rocking it on Facebook.
- You see reality shows where people are living extraordinary lives.
- You see your own debt.
That is when it is easy to get overwhelmed or feel down.
There is another way!
Let me share with you a little story that just happened so you can see how easy it really is to receive!!
What about you? Are you ready to live (or already living) an abundant little life? Share with me how.
The untamed heart holds no fear. You are run by passion and intuition. You let go of control and have an innate trust in yourself.
Wow! Think about what life would be like if you lived it like that!
I am not saying you must always live with an untamed heart every single moment of your life (although you could).
* When was the last time you allowed your untamed heart to be expressed?
* When was the last time you expressed this part of you in your day to day life?
* Do others get to see, taste and feel the bold, wild you?
* Do they get to experience your unbridled power?
I am not just talking about romantic love either. This wild spirit of yours wants to be expressed in your work, with your friends and family – in all areas of your life. You have the spirit of a wild horse running within you and so often you are trying to keep it tame. Why?
The reason why we all unconsciously tame ourselves is because we’ve been programed by our fears. Fear we will not be loved, liked or accepted should we show this untamed side.
Here’s the cost:
- Lack of self-trust and confidence
- Lack of joy and laughter
- Lack of bold action that initiates much needed change in your life & in the world
- Lack of true intimacy
- Lack of passion and purpose
And so much more…
So, how about we change that?
1 A. Imagine yourself sharing this bold or wild side.
B. What do you fear people will judge about you? What might you feel ashamed about?
C. Name how that part of you is important, needed and necessary. In other words, how does that part of you serve and support you when expressed from love?
2 A. Image yourself afraid to share your bold or wild side.
B. How do you judge or shame that part of you?
C. Name how that part of you is important, needed and necessary. In other words, how does that part of you serve and support you when expressed from love?
Every aspect of you is needed and necessary. You need both sides. Yet, too often we want to hide in our fears. At times, this can be okay because that allows others to take care of us. Of course, being taken care of can feel nice. Yet, when we stay in our fear too long, we won’t feel good because there is unexpressed potential waiting to be shared.
When you have an untamed heart, you are fearless. What the world needs from each of us is to become less fearless of ourselves. In other words, we become brazen – meaning, we don’t carry shame toward ourselves.
Without this shame, you are able to truly lead. This is what the world is begging for – more who are willing to lead during times when challenges seem impossible to surmount. Guess what? To do that, they’ll need the bold & empowered you to step forward. This is how you can give of yourself and serve fearlessly. So whadaya say?
There is nothing about you that needs to be shamed. We are all one, carrying the same fears, questions, doubts and insecurities. We do this until we find our truth – that we are each love. To find this truth, you must consciously chose love over fear.
Whenever you feel your love tank can use a little boost, or whenever you need a little self-confidence, choose to express your wild, bold & brazen self. Each time you do, you step further away from the safe persona you have built and more fully awaken to your joy, beauty and power in revealing all of you!
Happy Valentine’s Day Wild One!
With lots of love from me to you-
Juicy is such a great word, which to me, describes being alive, fully present and expressive. Your juiciness is a result of the love you are holding for yourself, life and others. In other words, your juiciness level ultimately depends on you.
At the same time, your relationships impact your level of juiciness as well. Because of the love you have for your partner, you may find that you have allowed some behaviors to slide. Now, of course, we all need to be flexible in our relationships. The question is if you are allowing a behavior to continue that takes away from your juiciness. What would that behavior be? The one behavior that keeps showing up and drives you absolutely crazy!
Here are some recent examples I have heard lately, where a partner is guilty of:
- Not providing adequate enough help around the house,
- Being distracted when you show signs of affection,
- Cutting you off in conversation, or
- Teasing you about something that really bothers you.
The behavior could be anything. The point is that your partner is unconscious of how this is truly impacting you, as well as him or herself! You see, you have probably brought up the issue previously before, right? Yet, for one reason or another, the behavior sneaks back into your relationship. In the vast majority of cases, this is not intentional of your partner. He/she simply does not realize the impact this has on the juiciness of your relationship.
Try this step by step process:
- Identify how you feel when your partner engages in the behavior.
- Share how you recognize that your partner is not engaging in the behavior to intentionally hurt you. ** (See Note)
- Explain how his/her behavior makes you feel. Ie: I feel ignored, which makes me really sad or I feel depleted, which makes me angry and frustrated.
- Describe how your resentment unintentionally comes out. I now realize that this is why I don’t want to do this activity that you love or I now realize this is why I don’t have the energy to give to you once the kids are in bed.
- Describe how a change in behavior would benefit your partner. ie When you don’t cut me off in a conversation, I feel seen and heard by others. When I feel this way, it makes me want to share more of myself with you.
- Create a signal. A signal can be a word, hand gesture (the middle finger generally not a good one to useJ), or pull on one of his/her fingers. Whatever can get your partner’s attention to recognize he/she is engaging in the behavior. Don’t worry about other people sensing something is up. Even if they do, you can explain and I am certain if they are in a relationship, they can relate! Bottom line, make it fun!
- Show Gratitude. Since your partner is making a conscious effort, you make the conscious effort to share more of your juiciness with him/her.
By partaking in these steps, you are motivating your partner to change. Your partner is only human. This means you cannot expect him/her to fully understand what his/her behavior truly means to you. Plus, by consciously sharing more of your juiciness, you are setting up for future shifts to occur with greater ease. You and your relationship should include juicy expressions of both of you. Having this type of honest conversation and healthy boundary setting allows the juiciness to flow between you and your partner even more!
Here’s to you and your juiciest expression of self!
** Important Note: If you actually feel that your partner is intentionally engaging in behaviors to hurt you, PLEASE, use this as a WARNING SIGNAL! What is happening is underlying resentments are going to build up between the both of you and sabotage your relationship. If both of you sense underlying resentments exist, see a marital therapist before it is too late. Ask any marital therapist what ends marriages and they’ll say “the couple waited too long to get support.”
No one ever sets off to have an “off” day. You are just going about living your life and one thing leads to another, or so it seems. If you are on the path to living your life more consciously so you can embrace more of your potential, your work is to bring awareness to what is really going on.
What is really going on during an off day is that you likely lowered your standards. Of course you are not going to go about your day thinking “Today would be a great day to lower my standards.” So how does this happen?
Believe it or not, you are most likely going to lower your standards when you are going after something you want. You see, in your mind sometimes to get what you want, you “make exceptions.” Making exceptions is fine except when you go against what feels good and right to you. The problem is that it is way too easy to make excuses even if your exception does not feel right to you.
Take me for example. Yesterday, I had an appointment with a really well-known figure regarding his participation in the next New Consciousness Audio Series. Unfortunately, the appointment time was incorrectly scheduled and if I wanted to fit in to his very busy schedule, I needed to rearrange some appointments on my end. I knew at the time, I didn’t feel comfortable making changes to my schedule. It just didn’t feel right. Still, I did as I thought of how wonderful it would be to have him as a part of the series.
Against my better judgment of my inner guidance, rearrangements were made. And you know what? The rearrangements threw off my day.
Now for the kicker, HE NEVER CALLED!
You see it is these little instances where boundaries weaken and you can easily have no clue. After all you want to be a good person, so you think you should give people the benefit of the doubt, be compassionate etc…. What happens is then that you are likely going to blow off your contribution to the problem. You will say to yourself something like “It is no big deal.”
You are correct in that it is no big deal to the other person involved. Yet, the truth is that instances in which you lower your boundaries should matter to you.
In my case, I could have easily forgotten about it and just have my assistant reschedule with his assistant. No big deal right? WRONG!
The big deal is that how I feel going about my day matters to me. Being in flow with my work makes a big difference in my day and I don’t like feeling “off.”
What is key to remember is that this has everything to do with my actions and not his. If I would have listened to my inner guidance, this wouldn’t have impacted my day as it did. It would have been “on.”
You are going to mess up at times and not listen to your inner guidance, just as I did. If you want to remain living emotionally unconscious (like many do) you will easily blow off lowering your standards. You won’t recognize how you disregarded your inner wisdom and then you will wonder why life at times feels like such a struggle.
Living emotionally conscious, however, you can choose to recognize your part in the equation. When you do, you are living more empowered because you see how you can handle circumstances in a way that is in greater alignment with your essence.
And this, my friends, is exactly how healthy boundaries are created! It is through the times when you dismiss your boundaries that can affirm the importance of boundaries in your life.
It is just like how successful people have experienced a lot of failures prior to their success. The same holds true with your boundaries. People with healthy boundaries that supports them to live their best life have become conscious of the times when their boundaries were lax. The reason is that in both cases, you learn and grow – IF YOU ARE WILLING & AWARE!
Of course, I became aware of this instance by recognizing my annoyance, which was really just light weight anger. Utilizing my anger from an emotionally conscious state, I realized my feelings were about me claiming more of my power. Through that understanding, I claimed back my power through re-establishing boundaries that feel good and right to me.
For me, the person who blew off our appointment has nothing to do with how I felt. He was simply the vehicle of how I was supposed to remember my truth to support me as my work progresses. The stakes may become higher, but my truth remains the same. Evidently, I needed that reminder! Once I got it, my day went from feeling “off” to feeling back “on!”
You need reminders when you are on your path to grow and evolve. Your emotions are there to support you to stay on track. Choose to live emotionally conscious to embrace the power within you that will allow you to turn around an “off” day and get back “on” track to living your best life!
Live Emotionally Conscious – Live Exceptionally Well,
Don’t you love the feeling of excitement running through your body. You are optimistic, ready to move forward and utilize that energy within you to make things happen. This is actually the purpose of excitement – to propel you forward!
Believe it or not, your fear is the same energy as excitement. The only difference is that your ego has taken a hold of the energy and turned it into what you recognize as fear. You know the ego is involved with fear because you’ll feel weighed down, uncertain, scared, anxious or sad.
From an emotional consciousness standpoint, you recognize the true purpose to your fears. They are present to alert you that you are buying into an ego message. Congratulations – just recognizing this is a huge step forward!
Now, to transmute the fear into the energy of excitement, all you need to do is understand the underlying message of the ego.
When this happens to me, I turn to my feelings to help me uncover the truth. Nothing is better than recognizing sadness as loving guidance for you to get the clarity you need. What I love about feeling every emotion as love is that the process allows you to get very specific as to what is your vulnerable spot that the ego is trying to protect.
Your sadness supports you to gain clarity and see the truth to the matter rather than the false story of your ego. Fear is then transformed back to excitement because the energy that you have given to your ego is now reverted back to your essence. When your essence is free to do what it came here to do, you will be blown away at your ability to move mountains! That is the energy that awaits you!!
What this means for you is to begin to see each and every fear as opportunity. The opportunity is to understand where, why and how your energy is leaking toward your ego. The time has come to reclaim that energy back to serving you and utilizing your excitement to even more deeply claim what fulfills you.
The good news is that fear is a normal part to growth. I feel it all the time and I utilize my fear to support me to reach my desires. You can too!
Begin by reminding and stating to yourself of the following:
“Each time I feel fear, it is an opportunity for me to expand and own more of my personal power and truth.”
You and only you can make the decision if you are going to use fear to transform you or keep you stuck. Your fate is in your hands! Now that is something to feel excited about – you have the choice to claim all of your potential!
Live Emotionally Conscious – Live Exceptionally Well,
The holidays are the time of year when you naturally feel more inclined to be generous. You want to share your gratitude for all that you have been given, as well as a sense of love and appreciation for those you care about. A huge message I keep getting over and over is about being generous but not in the typical buy presents kind-of-way.
Presents are great and fun to receive. Yet, there is something a little extra special to giving of yourself in a way that touches your heart because the giving authentically came from you. I’ve been asking myself what are those little extra doses of generosity that I can give out. Sometimes money is involved, sometimes it is not. What I like about the generosity of spirit behind the giving is that often times, only I will know or that the giving is uniquely between me and another.
In asking myself “How can I share of myself and my resources in a way that stretches me a little bit more?,” I have found two great gifts. The first gift is a deeper level of trust and knowingness that I can give of myself in ways that my rational mind would tell me I cannot. For me, this means such an intense demonstration of how loved and cared for I am by God.
The second gift is realizing that this generosity of spirit also applies to me. In other words, how can you be generous in spirit to you? When you remember you are not only supposed to be generous to others but also to yourself, you will feel that deepening of love and faith that the holidays are truly about.
Here is to you creating a generous and blessed holiday season!
With Faith and Love,
PS: Would you mind being generous with your ideas by sharing what generosity of spirit looks like to you? Add your comment and let’s share with one another simple ways to be generous to each other and yourself, as we end this calendar year.