Why false perceptions matter

27 Jul 2010, by michelle in personal development, Stress

Do you ever find that people have a perception of you that isn’t necessarily true?  People tend to make assumptions about you and your life base on some of the external components to your life.  Do you ever find that you actually want them to believe in that perception they have about you even though it isn’t accurate? I have!

woman silhouetteI have learned from experience, however, how something as seemingly harmless as going along with a false perception impacts you.  The impact is unconscious and can have lasting impact.  The reason is because when you go along with a false perception a part of you is hiding – typically hiding from your own shame and judgment.

Allow me to share a recent experience to explain this concept in more detail.  Recently, I was being congratulated by someone I knew fairly well on some recent successes.  They also alluded to the idea that I must be enjoying the financial rewards to my success.  At that moment, I felt a slight twinge.  A part of me so easily could have went with what she was saying by not agreeing or disagreeing and just move along in our conversation.  No harm done right?  Wrong!

What that twinge was about was the fight between my ego and my authentic self.  I knew a part of me wanted her to buy into the false perception that I am currently swimming in the dough!  That was exactly the problem.  Because of my work with emotional consciousness, I knew this was an opportunity for me to recognize that deep within me judgment about my finances existed.  I simply told her that her assumption was not the case.  After our conversation finished was when my inner work began.

Utilizing the tools I teach, I began to play detective regarding what I was judging. Fortunately, I am very fine tuned to my feelings and rather than blow them off, I saw this as a gift that I wanted to claim!  That is the beauty regarding your feelings because they are always available to allow you to expand and grow even more.  Obviously there was more growth for me to do around this topic!

In regard to finances, I have personally grown to understand that my needs and desires are always taken care of, so that wasn’t the issue.  The fear and judgment that came up was in regard to my profession.  I felt shame and embarrassment around the idea that should you (meaning this community) find out about the amount of money I make, you would deem me as no longer credible.  Of course, this is a projection of my own judgments.  The shame is because of my own judgment that exists, even though logically I know it isn’t true.  That is the thing about fears, they aren’t logical.

Even though fears are not completely logical, you will always have others that will fuel your fears.  After discussing this upcoming blog with a few of my peers – coaches, business experts etc.., they told me it was career suicide for me to share my process with you.  I was told that I want others to see me professionally as the image of success.

Image, however, is exactly what I believe hides us from being able to live authentically, freely and more empowered lives.  I know from experience that a part of my potential would be lost should I give into the fear.  So, I choose not to buy into the fear.  I knew that you judge me based on the value of my content, whether it supports you to grow and evolve in your life as well, and not on any image that pretends I don’t have my own process.  In fact, because I do have my own process, I feel that my experiences support me to further understand the traps and ways in which we unconsciously hinder ourselves.


The point of me sharing this with you is not about whether or not I make enough money.  The point is how false perceptions can be an opportunity for you to recognize your fears.    Sometimes your fears jump out.  To consciously grow, however, you want to be a detective to search for what else is waiting within you to evolve away from the ego and into more of your potential.

False perceptions happen all the time because we have the tendency to want people to see us at our best.  You rejoice in sharing the good and blessings that you are able to experience. You need to make sure that you aren’t hiding behind the good in order to remain distant from the judgments and fears within you.

Should you find yourself tempting to hide behind a false perception, use the experience to see how your ego wants you to buy into not being enough for where you are currently at in your life.  This is how shifts begin by not needing what is false to be a part of your identity or self worth.   When you no longer need the illusions of the ego, your ego can let go and make room for creating more of what you desire.    I know this because I have used this process to change many aspects of my life.  The work isn’t always easy but it is definitely worth doing!


  • Hi Michelle – thanks for what you wrote. So true. It is easier to buy into what other people think than to do the hard work of revealing your true self. It makes you vulnerable too, so that’s why it’s hard. (You can tell I care what others think!)
    That said, just wanted to let you know I don’t think it’s about how much money you make – the successes in themselves are postive, and it’s also good to be doing what you love.
    Blessings to you!

    • Hi Heather,

      Thanks for your response. Yes, so true that it can be challenging to be vulnerable simply because people will interpret what you share based on where they are at in their own process and may not completely understand.

      What I shared in my process was not about money. Rather I was sharing my fear of whether or not I am able to provide for my family doing what I love. Balancing the spiritual with our human experiences is a fine balance, which is why I like to share my real experiences so that those fears can be unearthed from within. Otherwise, your fears can easily stay hidden and unconsciously impact you.

      It is with pleasure that I share this so others know that even when you are on this path to consciously grow and evolve, it is okay to have fears – you just want to do your best to consciously shift them!

      Thanks for being connected!

  • Jane

    Michelle…i love how you are so able to look at the rocks in the stream and claim them for what they are. I feel you offer a personal aspect in your approach that is refreshing. There you are at a moments notice pulling out your camera and recording something to help us. You use a personal experience to make a point. You use everyday conversations as examples to help us relate and become self-aware. We need you to keep doing what you are doing. I hope you have the abundance you deserve cause if you do, so will we. Jane

  • Dear Michelle,
    How interesting this subject is. I was immediately interested and while I was reading, and didn’t know where you where going exactly. In the midst of my reading something happened that was an exact example of what you where writing about. I thought:” this woman knows about the hidden forces of ego and how to handle them, I might contact her about this because this interests me a great deal…” A split second after that I noticed my ego thinking: ” oh no, business-wise it is not smart to open up about your weaknesses…”. This was going on in the back of my mind while I was reading on.
    These ways of thinking are so refined that we could easily not notice them, while they become part of our frames of thought and in that way colour the very way you feel and act in this world. Its good to know that there are more people who make an effort to become “real” and transparent in order to help people become their best self.
    Kind regards, Kirsten