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Hi Michelle,  I am a married mom of 2.  It’s been about a year and half that I started my spiritual journey.  I feel I am going at such a slow pace though.  It seems so desperately slow.  I am the sole supporter of my family………..I work 10 hour days, 4 days a week.  And when I’m home I feel I am so busy with errands, appointments, kids, etc.  I have no time for myself, for my spirit.  Funds are scarce so I cannot sign up for any of the wonderful spiritual events I come across.  I do not feel my husband is very supportive, but then again maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s just my ego.  I wish I had an answer………….Maybe you can help me. I know I need to work on myself, I just don’t know how.  Thank you.

In love and light, Evelyn

Hi Evelyn,

Thank you for sharing your story.  With having 3 kids in the span of 18 months, I very much understand your dilemma.  I also know from experience there are absolute measures you can take now.  I’ll give you two to begin with:

1.    Shift Your Power Back to You! When people write in for support, I often share that there is a victim lurking in their story.  You too have been caught by your ego but don’t worry, we all go there!  With every victim story, it isn’t that you don’t have justification for feeling like you do.  The problem is that from the victim standpoint you don’t have power.  The truth is you do have power.

The easiest step I ever took was putting myself at the top of the list.  It really is simple.  You write your normal “to-do” list out and you put your own need/desire first.  When you implement this you will find two things.

A.   You have the tendency to get more done than you normally would because you are happier, more present, and less stressed.

B.   Whatever you don’t get done won’t seem that important.

Doing this simple step will change your life because your actions state that you matter!

2.    Listen, Honor and Act on Your F.E.E.L.ings!  Although you don’t share your emotions in your story, I can sense how you feel.  I sense frustration and resentment toward your husband and all the responsibilities you carry.  I sense you feel alone and lost – leading you to feel sad that you aren’t able to move forward with your life as you would like.

I have GREAT news for you, because your feelings are present to guide you through this situation.  What this means is that how you are feeling is spot-on accurate, when you shift your understanding of your emotions from the emotional stone-ages to F.E.E.L.: Feel Every Emotion as Love! When you learn how to F.E.E.L., you understand that your frustration is due to you doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

If you listen to your frustration you will hear two stories.  One is the ego’s story, the other is coming from your essence.  Your ego’s story will keep you stuck blaming your husband and focusing in on his short-comings.  When you listen to your essence ( this is your true self, which has innate wisdom), you will find your frustration is wanting you to notice there is another victim story.

You are catching onto this because you suggest that your ego is involved.  It isn’t that you are wrong about your husband not supporting you.  If that is how you feel, you are correct.  Where your ego comes into play is in not being able to see how you set up your relationship to be this way.  Your frustration is telling you there is a new way to relate to your husband to create true intimacy and partnership. Your first step is to share how you are feeling with your husband from the place of love, inner knowingness and power toward yourself.  This will come across much differently than what our egos have us do which is whine, nag or walk away.

If you aren’t sure how to act on your frustration through love, consider investing in the F.E.E.L. Virtual Mastery Program.  Investing in yourself will shift your sense of abundance because you are claiming your worth.  The bottom line is to get affordable support because having a life that feels filled with love, joy and fulfillment is worth it!  Go to http://mbersell.wpengine.com/feel/ for more information.

Your sense of feeling stuck Evelyn is to let you know that you have to get out of the ego and make changes that support your essence.  Now is the time.  Don’t give up on you!

I wish you emotional abundance as you move forward on your journey!