My Response to a Dysfunctional Self-Actualizing Philosopher11 May 2010, by personal development in
Subject: dysfunctional self-actualizing philosopher
To: Michelle Bersell <email@example.com>
Michelle…Ok..today I own my ‘state’. I am paralyzed by my lack of confidence. I drown it in other lack – not enough knowledge, not likeable, not this not that. I drop into this pool of cement and struggle with the struggle. I know what I am doing and have winds of lightness and grace but I can’t seem to undo something that keeps me from allowing my life to shine.
I was shocked to hear a friend say to me years ago – You have a lot of self-hatred. I am thankful for this comment as I awakened to myself. I played with the programming, with energy and with knowledge. I have dramatically changed my lifepath.
It’s a new world but I am not knowing how to live in it. I yell out – ok, teach me the lesson and lessen the teaching so I can move on. Something in my programming or willingness is making me a dysfunctional self-actualizing philosopher of sorts. Debt and pounds are adding up and I am inert. Kids are feeling insecure about Mom. I am missing a link.
What do you suggest?
First of all I want to acknowledge that it takes courage to say, “Look, I have been on this personal development path for quite some time and I am still struggling.” Trust me, you are not alone. It is not your fault because the emotion piece that understands the ego, your fears and feelings from a spiritual perspective has been missing.
I know exactly where you are – been there, done that! To be frank, the missing link is you getting so tired and so damn bored of your ego’s story that you become willing to fight for your essence. I mean aren’t the stories of your ego boring to you? For how long have you been hearing the message you aren’t enough this or you are not enough that? For a very, very long time right? And where has it gotten you? How have those messages served you?
Now is the time to get ANGRY that you have bought into those messages for so long. You have to be willing to say “ENOUGH, NO LONGER WILL I BUY INTO MESSAGES THAT DO NOT SERVE ME” and then take action.
ACTION IS KEY! Anger is your power and will support you to finally claim energy on behalf of your essence to take action. Have you been using your anger from a consciousness level to tap into your internal power? What we have to be careful about being on this path is thinking, reading and taking too many courses on your personal development. Why? Because then you remain a philosopher rather than experiencing what it is you are learning about.
You have to be willing to take one step each and every day to the benefit of your essence. Even if it doesn’t make sense to your rational brain, listen to your essence. Your spirit is BEGGING YOU to TAKE A RISK. Take an honest look at what you have to lose. Your spirit is being cut off from life by how you are living. It doesn’t get worse than that!
If you continue to take risks on behalf of your essence, you guarantee a breakthrough. If you continue to listen to the voices of your ego, you guarantee yourself to remain spinning your wheels and more pain. I will say this to you lovingly because I have been exactly where you are at emotionally; There comes a time when we have to stop whining and take responsibility for our lives. Your anger from a consciousness level will help you see this. Now is your time.
Live Emotionally Conscious – Live Exceptionally Well,
To gain further assistance with how to utilize your emotions to propel your personal growth, check out my F.E.E.L. Virtual Mastery Program at http://mbersell.wpengine.com/feel/. So many have already shared how F.E.E.L. is impacting their life and I hope it will change yours as well!