My Response to a Dysfunctional Self-Actualizing Philosopher

11 May 2010, by michelle in personal development

Subject: dysfunctional self-actualizing philosopher
To: Michelle Bersell <>

Michelle… I own my ‘state’.  I am paralyzed by my lack of confidence.  I drown it in other lack – not enough knowledge, not likeable, not this not that.  I drop into this pool of cement and struggle with the struggle.  I know what I am doing and have winds of lightness and grace but I can’t seem to undo something that keeps me from allowing my life to shine.

I was shocked to hear a friend say to me years ago – You have a lot of self-hatred.  I am thankful for this comment as I awakened to myself.  I played with the programming, with energy and with knowledge.  I have dramatically changed my lifepath.  

It’s a new world but I am not knowing how to live in it.  I yell out – ok, teach me the lesson and lessen the teaching so I can move on.  Something in my programming or willingness is making me a dysfunctional self-actualizing philosopher of sorts.  Debt and pounds are adding up and I am inert.  Kids are feeling insecure about Mom.  I am missing a link.

What do you suggest?


Hi Jane,

First of all I want to acknowledge that it takes courage to say, “Look, I have been on this personal development path for quite some time and I am still struggling.” Trust me, you are not alone.  It is not your fault because the emotion piece that understands the ego, your fears and feelings from a spiritual perspective has been missing.

I know exactly where you are – been there, done that!  To be frank, the missing link is you getting so tired and so damn bored of your ego’s story that you become willing to fight for your essence.  I mean aren’t the stories of your ego boring to you?  For how long have you been hearing the message you aren’t enough this or you are not enough that?  For a very, very long time right?  And where has it gotten you?  How have those messages served you? 

Now is the time to get ANGRY that you have bought into those messages for so long.  You have to be willing to say “ENOUGH, NO LONGER WILL I BUY INTO MESSAGES THAT DO NOT SERVE ME” and then take action. 

ACTION IS KEY!  Anger is your power and will support you to finally claim energy on behalf of your essence to take action. Have you been using your anger from a consciousness level to tap into your internal power?  What we have to be careful about being on this path is thinking, reading and taking too many courses on your personal development. Why? Because then you remain a philosopher rather than experiencing what it is you are learning about.

You have to be willing to take one step each and every day to the benefit of your essence.  Even if it doesn’t make sense to your rational brain, listen to your essence.  Your spirit is BEGGING YOU to TAKE A RISK.  Take an honest look at what you have to lose.  Your spirit is being cut off from life by how you are living.  It doesn’t get worse than that!

If you continue to take risks on behalf of your essence, you guarantee a breakthrough.  If you continue to listen to the voices of your ego, you guarantee yourself to remain spinning your wheels and more pain.  I will say this to you lovingly because I have been exactly where you are at emotionally; There comes a time when we have to stop whining and take responsibility for our lives.  Your anger from a consciousness level will help you see this. Now is your time.

 Live Emotionally Conscious – Live Exceptionally Well,


To gain further assistance with how to utilize your emotions to propel your personal growth, check out my F.E.E.L. Virtual Mastery Program at  So many have already shared how F.E.E.L. is impacting their life and I hope it will change yours as well!

  • Jane

    Hi Michelle. Thank you for responding to my email. I super appreciate it. I have purchased your F.E.E.L program and will begin it later this week. Sonia Choquette gave me the same message a year ago when she pin-pointed me in the audience. I said I was ‘trying to feel my spirit’ and she recognized the ego talking. Each of these reminders help me to attain confidence in my new found consciousness. In my defense I guess I have to say that I am ‘in process’ and cautious because what I do affects my children. I am a single Mom responsible for two now adolescent daughters. This awareness shift does impact their lives. They have watched their Mom change from a well-heeled business consultant to a recently certified Hypno-therapist with absolutely no income for 5 months – by choice! They see my deliberate isolation and my inability to return to the status quo. I tell them I will make like-minded friends and there will be more love for me and them in our futures. I know this will empower them some day too when they understand. I have changed the course of my life at 53 and I now must sell the house in order to allow the new path to continue to reveal itself. I allow myself the freedom to explore new people and places and discover I am able to feel the good feelings by doing so. There is no longer a choice for me. I will experience my life differently now. I am aware of deep-seated anger, sadness and disappointment that needs to dissolve and what I learn to do for myself I trust will serve me in my practice of hypnotherapy. Your line-up of talks with clear-minded people was excellent. I know your F.E.E.L program will be of great benefit to my understanding. Thanks for helping me see a little clearer yet. Jane

    • Yeah Jane, I am so happy for you that you are recognizing your ego! That is half the battle!! I sense pain for you around love, perhaps a hesitancy to be vulnerable in some area of your life?? That is the first place to begin (The F.E.E.L Virtual Mastery Program will help you with that so I am glad you are signed up!) You are definately in process and doing a great job! We all need reminders along the way. Believe me your anger, sadness and disappointment are going to propel you forward and I can’t wait to hear more about your process!
      Blessings – Michelle