Move out of Control and into Flow

02 Jun 2011, by michelle in personal development, self-care, Stress

planOh my goodness, so many of us love to control, plan out, and analyze– all of which are great qualities to have. Yet, let’s face it, too much “thinking things through” can also lead to stagnation and even boredom. Rather than letting our logical, rational brain have full control of our lives, we need balance.

To achieve a more balanced state, we need to consciously choose to shift gears from always pushing or forging ahead to opening ourselves up to a state of allowing, which is often called “flow.” From a flow state, there is room for spontaneity, intuition and creativity to come forward.

If this sounds too touchy-feely, or all fun and games, it isn’t. Although a flow state is known to occur for more artistic types, athletes, sales people, even doctors have shared how they enter a “flow zone.” In this zone, you feel “on,” where you trust what is coming forward from inside of you and lose yourself in the process. The result is you are more effective at what you do.

My guess is you are wondering “How on earth do I make that happen?” Well, here’s the deal – you can’t make flow happen. Flow is an authentic state that cannot be forced. There are, however, ways you can encourage more flow states in your life.

waterfallHere’s my top 3 Ways to Shift from Control to Flow:

#1 Listen to Your Feelings

I can’t say this enough – those who are in the know when it comes to personal growth recognize emotions as a HUGE, POWERFUL ALLY! Too often times, you ignore or set aside feelings because, well, you don’t like what they are saying. Let’s face it, feelings, especially those that challenge you, can occur at inconvenient times. A much easier approach is to ignore, deny or try to rise above what you feel. In doing so, however, you are not aligning yourself with your authentic self. Instead, you are subconsciously judging and unconsciously choosing fear. Your fear is in what these feelings mean to you, or what they bring up within you that you don’t like.

There is another choice, which is to listen to your feelings from a higher consciousness perspective. From a higher consciousness perspective, challenging feelings are viewed as a signal with an underlying message that is present to support you. In this way, you can stay true to how you feel without getting lost in fear or ego drama. What this is doing is actually moving your internal energy from a place that doesn’t serve and stifles you to one in which your internal energy flows in congruence with your higher self.

From a higher consciousness understanding, your feelings are present to get you back in alignment with your authentic self. Challenging feelings indicate you are buying into fear more than your truth. They also give you the direction you need to move back in alignment with your authentic self. By learning to follow the higher consciousness message, you create internal balance. From this place of internal balance, there is room for passion, new insight and energy to come through – all of which are present to support you to live from a flow state more and more often.

#2 Prioritize Your Essence

Listen to your essence – that authentic, wise, love-filled part of you. What does that aspect of you desire? This part of you often gets ignored (sometimes for years!). Let’s face it, you have responsibilities that are always seeking and winning your attention. I am not talking about being irresponsible here. You still have things that need to get done yet, who says joy, play and your essence can’t come first?

#3 Practice Allowing

What do you like to control or plan? What would it be like for you to let go of the grip a bit? Rather than go, go, go how about rest, observe, listen and witness? Make room for spontaneity and see what life can bring you.

Just compare the two pictures and decide which feels more fulfilling, abundant and power-filled.   Allow your essence to be your guide that you trust over your ego’s need to control and in turn experience more of you and the life your heart desires to create!

Thank you so much for connecting with me here. I am happy to be on this journey with you!

Living Emotionally Conscious Together –


  • Joan Barice

    Thank you. I needed that just now !

    • Joan, so glad to hear the message resonated for you! Keep choosing allowing and you’ll be shown so much more! Blessings – Michelle

  • Kirsten

    I totally get what you’re saying about flow and about fear being what actually causes us to want to, say, “rise above” our feelings. I have been wondering a lot about anger, which I guess spells a need for change. In ourselves. Rather than in others. If we have to make that choice. That change could mean leaving a relationship, for example, I suppose. Moving on. Our responsibility. I guess it’s harder when you suffer anger as a child – when you are helpless – if this prevents you from learning to parent yourself. The anger builds up. I guess accumulated anger builds up into sadness, which again, has to be acknowledged. But it’s better to live consciously later rather than never – it’s the only way to really live.

    • Well said Kristin. Yes, when anger lingers unconsciously, it can continue that sense of helplessness as an adult. Living emotionally conscious brings this to the surface and as you said it is really the only true way to live. Thank you for sharing, living this way and being a part of this community!