4 Steps to Ensure You Do Not Fall Victim to Victim Mentality

27 Oct 2009, by michelle in Stress

Victim mentality can be summed up through these four characteristics:
1) You feel sorry for yourself
2) You feel like chasing your tail
3) You fear failure
4) You have been in this pattern for an extended period of time (1 month plus)

The truth is you need to be able to feel sorry for yourself once in a while or feel fear. Who doesn’t feel this way when dealing with stress? Having these feelings periodically is part of your normal personal growth, especially when you are facing change. You simply do not want to remain in this state. It is important to feel how you do and have compassion for yourself. Yet, if you stay in this state too long, you risk injuring your self-esteem.

victim-worry pic
If the above four points sound too familiar, here are some steps that not only help with stress management but also allow you to move forward.

1) Make your long-term goals the priority. Victims feel sorry for themselves because they get too caught up in the everyday to-do’s rather than their long term vision.
2) Create a plan and schedule in time for your long-term objectives. If you are in victim mode, you will feel too overwhelmed when really all that is need is organization of your time.
3) Make sure you are taking real action. As part of your goals, make sure you are including action steps each day. When you are in victim mode, you tend to overly think about what you want to do rather than actually doing it.
4) Be flexible. If something doesn’t go as planned, you don’t need to take it as a personal assault against you and give up. People who have created a fulfilled life do so by trying again or trying another route.

If you are feeling stuck in the victim mode and would like more information on a breakthrough session, contact Michelle at


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