The Real Meaning to Giving More Deeply

I woke up this morning with this message “Give more deeply of yourself.”  Immediately, my ego went into over-drive with my victim story.  “What more can I give.  I already have so much going on.  What more do you want from me?”  Thankfully, the loving guidance of my essence came swooping in to remind me that to give more deeply of yourself isn’t the same as doing more!

So the question was, “How could I give more deeply?”  As I took a moment to reflect, I saw how tired I have been now that the holidays are over.  When night comes, I feel wiped out.  I reflected on how some of my silly bedtime rituals of tickle bugs and other important nonsense with the kids have been cut way back.

What I was reminded of was presence.  Maybe you are like me, where you find you have moments of presence and then it slips away. Suddenly you find yourself thinking about what else is on your list of things to do.  Rather than stay in the moment, you find your mind going off into some other place.

Others of you may rarely find presence if you are like I was, an ultimate multi-tasker.  As a parent, I found it challenging not to try to do twenty things at once.  There is so much going on at once that you become good at juggling or sink.  Many of you may feel like that is also the reality of your job as well.  This is where you get addicted to living at a pace that keeps you away from your presence.  Then you find yourself in those rare spare moments that you have, checking your email rather than just being present.

This is why it is important for all of us to ask in each moment “Am I giving deeply of myself?”  In other words, are you fully in the moment?  Are you playing full out in the everyday components of life?

Don’t forget about yourself either.  Are you giving deeply to yourself as well?  Are you listening to your needs?  Are you listening to your feelings and how they are loving guiding you?  This is where many fall short.  You simply aren’t willing to give yourself this loving attention because your ego had you believe there is too much other components to your life that need your attention.  What you are really saying to yourself is that your needs are not that important.

Now ask yourself this, if your needs aren’t that important, can you really be present?  You can’t. If you can’t be present, you really can’t truly give of yourself as you desire. Your needs are going to find some way to be addressed, unconsciously or consciously.  If your needs must find an unconscious way to be met, you will find your efforts being sabotaged.

This is part of the transformation that is occurring this year, to let go of old habits that keep us away from living more fully connected to ourselves.  You give more deeply when you are fully present with yourself first.  Being present with yourself is what allows you to be fully present with others.  This is how we truly and deeply connect.  It is through present connection that you tend to find the fun just by truly being where you are.

You have so many gifts and so much love to give!  Allow your emotions to guide you back to your truth. Your truth has huge plans for you!  What you are hearing allows you more fully understand your essence, which in turn, supports you to truly share of yourself.  You can be more open, more exposed, and more vulnerable.  In doing so, you will find yourself more deeply able to give in ways that bring you the joy and fulfillment your heart craves!

Here’s to you giving of yourself more deeply!  Please share the ways that arise within you to share of yourself in this loving and generous way below.  By giving of yourself through sharing, your heart may inspire another to give more deeply in the same way!

With love and appreciation for your giving heart -

The All-Encompassing Gift of YOU!

You are a gift!  You know this right?  At the same time, you might find yourself with temporary amnesia with the holiday season here.  Why?  Well, besides the fact that you may feel pulled in twenty different directions due to the holidays, you are also in a season of darkness (at least for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere).  This means that besides contending with shortened hours of light, a part of you is being lulled in by the darkness that exists within you.

The darkness within you is not bad or negative.  It is simply those parts of yourself you don’t want to address.  In our day to day living, you are most likely not going to want to address this part of you.  Maybe you feel you don’t have time to address this part of you or perhaps you judge that this part of you exists.   Add in the hustle and bustle of the holidays and these parts of you are sure to go ignored.  Yet these parts of you that desperately want your attention are likely going to make a holiday appearance –    like it or not.   Here are some common examples of what you may be feeling inside you:

• You feel saddened from missing someone you were once close with that is no longer in your life.
• You feel saddened and frustrated that you cannot afford to give as much as you would like.
• You feel like a spoiled brat because a part of you has so many things you want to receive.
• You feel undeserving to receive a gift.
• You feel stressed out by all the demands the holidays bring.
• You feel alone.
• You feel like Porky the Pig because you haven’t been eating well or exercising.
• You feel angry or depressed because you aren’t getting along with a family member and they are ruining your holidays.

Wowza, the above examples that are coming from your ego don’t give you that warm holiday sensation does it?  Some of these feelings are harsh and judgmental, others feel downright sad.  This makes it even more likely that no one, not even your consciously evolving self, wants to pay attention to how that part of you feels.  Yet the darkness beckons us to reconcile these parts that we have left out of our light.

To reconcile, you want to listen to your feelings and understand their meaning beyond that which the ego is demonstrating to you.  Your ego wants to berate you to keep you small because smallness equates to protection in the ego’s world.  Yet as you learn the higher consciousness messages to all that you feel, you know that these messages are trying to tell you that these aspects of yourself need your love.

That part of you that feels undeserving is begging for self-recognition.  The part of you that feels like a spoiled brat simply needs to be shown by you in your day to day life how special you really are.  The part of you judging your weight wants to be nurtured and taken care of rather than have your needs cast aside.  You get the point now don’t you?

The holidays are about celebrating and calling forth the light within you and within the world.  This is what miracles are made from and they can occur within you as well.   By bringing the light into those parts that you would rather remain hidden in the dark, you call for a miracle from within.  This is the miracle of unconditional love.  By more fully giving this to yourself, you are going to be able to more fully give unconditional love to those most important to you.  In doing so, you have learned to create the inner peace, joy and presence we all crave – especially during the holidays.

You are the all encompassing gift of light.  Remember this by bringing forward the light within those dark aspects of you.   As you do, the more light you bring into the world.  What better gift can there truly be than more light and love?

Wishing you a special holiday season filled with love and joy for the miracle that you are!

Move out of Control and into Flow

Oh my goodness, so many of us love to control, plan out, and analyze– all of which are great qualities to have. Yet, let’s face it, too much “thinking things through” can also lead to stagnation and even boredom. Rather than letting our logical, rational brain have full control of our lives, we need balance.

To achieve a more balanced state, we need to consciously choose to shift gears from always pushing or forging ahead to opening ourselves up to a state of allowing, which is often called “flow.” From a flow state, there is room for spontaneity, intuition and creativity to come forward.

If this sounds too touchy-feely, or all fun and games, it isn’t. Although a flow state is known to occur for more artistic types, athletes, sales people, even doctors have shared how they enter a “flow zone.” In this zone, you feel “on,” where you trust what is coming forward from inside of you and lose yourself in the process. The result is you are more effective at what you do.

My guess is you are wondering “How on earth do I make that happen?” Well, here’s the deal – you can’t make flow happen. Flow is an authentic state that cannot be forced. There are, however, ways you can encourage more flow states in your life.

Here’s my top 3 Ways to Shift from Control to Flow:

#1 Listen to Your Feelings

I can’t say this enough – those who are in the know when it comes to personal growth recognize emotions as a HUGE, POWERFUL ALLY! Too often times, you ignore or set aside feelings because, well, you don’t like what they are saying. Let’s face it, feelings, especially those that challenge you, can occur at inconvenient times. A much easier approach is to ignore, deny or try to rise above what you feel. In doing so, however, you are not aligning yourself with your authentic self. Instead, you are subconsciously judging and unconsciously choosing fear. Your fear is in what these feelings mean to you, or what they bring up within you that you don’t like.

There is another choice, which is to listen to your feelings from a higher consciousness perspective. From a higher consciousness perspective, challenging feelings are viewed as a signal with an underlying message that is present to support you. In this way, you can stay true to how you feel without getting lost in fear or ego drama. What this is doing is actually moving your internal energy from a place that doesn’t serve and stifles you to one in which your internal energy flows in congruence with your higher self.

From a higher consciousness understanding, your feelings are present to get you back in alignment with your authentic self. Challenging feelings indicate you are buying into fear more than your truth. They also give you the direction you need to move back in alignment with your authentic self. By learning to follow the higher consciousness message, you create internal balance. From this place of internal balance, there is room for passion, new insight and energy to come through – all of which are present to support you to live from a flow state more and more often.

#2 Prioritize Your Essence

Listen to your essence – that authentic, wise, love-filled part of you. What does that aspect of you desire? This part of you often gets ignored (sometimes for years!). Let’s face it, you have responsibilities that are always seeking and winning your attention. I am not talking about being irresponsible here. You still have things that need to get done yet, who says joy, play and your essence can’t come first?

#3 Practice Allowing

What do you like to control or plan? What would it be like for you to let go of the grip a bit? Rather than go, go, go how about rest, observe, listen and witness? Make room for spontaneity and see what life can bring you.

Just compare the two pictures and decide which feels more fulfilling, abundant and power-filled.   Allow your essence to be your guide that you trust over your ego’s need to control and in turn experience more of you and the life your heart desires to create!

Thank you so much for connecting with me here. I am happy to be on this journey with you!

Living Emotionally Conscious Together -

How to Work through Confusion

Watch my latest video by clicking here
How to Work through Confusion

In case you want the step-by-step process, here’s what you need to do:

Step 1: Recognize that you are feeling confused, stuck, uncertain or lost. Energetically, your energy is tied up. To untie the knot, you have to stop the energy that is leaking out toward blame or excuses and instead look within yourself.

Step 2: Acknowledge that your challenges are real others behaviors may be contributing to your challenged. Then ask yourself “How am I giving away my power in this situation?”

Step 3: Name one, two even three ways you can take responsibility for your current reality.

Step 4: Choose any one from step 3 and break it down into smaller steps. Acknowledge that in doing so you have taken a step.

Step 5: Make a commitment to when you will act upon your first step – no more than 48 hours from when you begin this process. The sooner the better.

Step 6: After each step you take, acknowledge how you feel in order that you can see your ego quicker next time. (ie “At first I felt scared and reluctant like I was dragging my feet but the moment I picked up the phone and made that call I felt relieved and in my power.” In that moment, commit again to when you will be completing your next step. Repeat until all small steps are completed.

Step 7: Leave your comment so I can hear what you think!

Surrender to the Green Beans

One of my early spiritual teachers shared with me a story about her process of training to become a shaman.  She had traveled all over the world, learning from amazing spiritual masters.  Part of her last leg of preparation was working in a spiritual community, where each member of the community performed a certain task that would benefit the whole.  This task was assigned based on the inherent gifts each member had, as well as what would task was believed to most benefit each member’s spiritual growth and evolution.  With all her travels and through everything she had learned, she had secretly hoped she would have an “important” function.

What did her role turn out to be?  Her very important and oh so exclusive role was preparing shuck beans!  Umm, not exactly what she imagined.

Still she took on the task, thinking quickly it would be changed.  But after a few weeks of doing this, she grew incredibly bored and decided to mention something to the person who assigned tasks.  He assured her that preparing the beans the best place for her and where she was meant to be.

She would then go back to doing her work but she wasn’t enjoying it in the least.  She decided each week, she’d check in to see if she could be assigned a different task, something that would expand her gifts.  And each week, she was told again and again, green beans are where you are meant to be.

After months went by with the same rejection week after week, she reflected on how her strategy of trying to assert herself into a different position was not working.  She decided to dedicate herself whole-heartedly to preparing the green beans and let go of what she thought she ought to be doing instead.  She found herself becoming lost in the process she had learned so well.  At first it felt like a form of meditation and then it blossomed even further to have its own melody.  Soon she found herself signing as she performed her tasks.  Others noticed how happy and at peace she was.  It was then that she was told she had completed her task well and it was time for her to share all she has learned out into the world.

Although her heart had known for a long time she was going to be a spiritual teacher, she had not received all the lessons that would make her teachings fulfilling to her.  Her ego was trying to push and force the change that her heart so deeply wanted to create.  Yet, the heart’s language is not push, it is flow.  It is an internal melody that is found when you surrender to your current reality.

So many times when we reach this point when life isn’t working out as planned, we turn our backs on the tasks before us.   We want to say, “To hell with it!”  Or maybe you fall back into an old pattern of behavior that isn’t working, yet feels comfortable to you.

Do not confuse surrender with giving up.  The tasks are there for a reason –  to prepare you to share your gifts.  This doesn’t mean life is going to stay this way, as your ego would like you to believe.  If your ego, is like mine, it wants to get on with it and keep moving forward.   However, if you find yourself stuck, yet again, that is a sure sign there is something you are missing that will support you to move forward.  That is when you are being called to find acceptance in what this moment is trying to teach you.  Ask yourself “What do I need to learn about why my relationships, career, finances, physical health or whatever your current challenge is in this present moment?”

You will find your spirit/essence/authentic self is guiding you, once the pushy, assertiveness of your ego is witnessed.  Then it is your choice as to which voice you are going to follow.  When you whole-heartedly choose your essence, your ego’s job has been completed with this task and let’s go of the deep grip it had on you.  That is when you realize that your essence will always be the more difficult voice to trust, yet it is the only path to reap the rewards of your heart’s desires.  Til this day, I have kept a jar of baby food green beans on my meditation table to remind me to surrender to my own life’s unfolding by choosing my essence rather than my ego to be my guide.

Living Emotionally Conscious Together,

QUIZ: HOW MUCH OF YOUR ENERGY GOES TOWARD WANTING TO BE LIKED?

The desire to be liked, well-thought of and respected is a common desire in women and men alike.   However, too many of you are likely giving away too much of your energy and yourself in order to have this desire met.  This desire may be consistently present in all areas of your life, or just focused on one area such as with those you interact with at work, your friendships, your intimate partnership/marriage or even random encounters with others.    When this occurs, it means you have an energy leak on your hands that is keeping you away from fully expressing your highest version of you!

Take this quick quiz to determine how much of your energy you give away to be liked and what this means for you.

The following questions should be answered with the following choices:

Often (The majority of the time)

Occasionally (About half the time)

Seldom (Rarely – less than a handful of times a year)

1. How often do you alter your behavior or words to come across as more likeable or accepted by others?
2. How often do you worry about what you said after having a conversation with someone?
3. How often do you feel misunderstood?
4. How often do you feel a need to self-protect?
5. How often do you feel concerned about others potentially judging you?
6. How often do you struggle with remaining present and focused on another when conversing because you feel self-conscious?
7. How often do you feel apprehensive to share how you really feel?

What your responses mean:

If the majority of your answers were responded with “Often,” this means:

Your energy is subconsciously geared toward fear of your true self rather than self-love, acceptance and approval.  To live your life more freely and at peace, it is time for you to address what you really feel about yourself.  Ask yourself: What are you judging about you?  What aspects of yourself do you not fully understand and therefore hide?  It is time to unravel the shame you carry toward you!

If the majority of your answers were responded with “Occasionally,” this means:

Certain situations are energy leaks for you.  Although you have worked through some blocks in the past, there is still a core aspect that needs your attention and nurturance.  To understand more about your ego block, ask yourself: What types of people or situations trigger your defenses?  What is the sense of lack that you believe in during those moments or situations?  Although you don’t feel completely drained by your energy leaks, it is important for you to find the leak in order to have the internal energy to empower you to be your highest version of you!

If the majority of your answers were responded with “Seldom,” this means:

You are living your life authentically because you have very few times when your energy leaks toward fear.   This means you know and are connected to your inner wisdom and truth very intimately, which is a beautiful way to live!   As a person committed to consciously evolving and growing, you will still encounter fears.  Keep utilizing F.E.E.L: Feel Every Emotion as Love to guide you back to your truth when those occasions happen or you find yourself in an emotional “growth-spurt!”

Additional Optional Recommendations

If the majority of your answers were “Often,” personal support would be a great option for you.  Currently you have core beliefs that are more aligned with your false self rather than your authentic self, which personal support can help you shift.  If you are interested in personal work with me, please fill out my evaluation form and I’ll get back to you shortly. http://michellebersell.com/evaluation-form/

If the majority of your answers were “Occasionally,” you won’t have energy to give toward your potential, when your energy is being leaked.  Nip your energy leaks in the bud through my F.E.E.L. Virtual Mastery Home Study Program.  This is the perfect program to support you to pull the blinders away from your ego blocks!  http://www.michellebersell.com/feel/

If the majority of your answers were “Seldom,” keep doing what you are doing!  Find continued inspiration through events (both live and virtual) with like-minded people to keep your spirit recharged and energized!

Live Emotionally Conscious – Live Exceptionally Well,

How to Gain Greater Inner Confidence

I have the ability to appear confident when inside, I don’t feel that way.  It sounds like a good thing, but is it?  The period in my life in which people commented the most about how self-confident I was, was actually a time in my life that I felt the most insecure.  Here lies the problem – when you are trying to project the image of confidence, you don’t feel it inside you.  In fact, whatever you are trying to project about yourself comes from a place of lack within you.  On the other hand, when you truly feel confident, you don’t worry about projecting confidence.  You feel confident and that is all that matters to you.  Energetically, this makes a world of difference as to how well you are able to make deeper, richer and more meaningful connections in the world.

So, today’s tips are not about how to fake confidence but to really gain inner confidence.  Inner confidence allows energy to flow from you.  The result is you authentically feel good about who you are and the gifts you bring to the world through your presence, without even trying!

4 Steps to Gain Greater Inner Confidence:

1. Take risks – Be willing to do things you aren’t good at, where you lack skill and where you have the opportunity to learn.  That is after all what expansion is all about and what your spirit really enjoys experiencing.  It is a part of living that leads to exhilarating moments that make you feel alive.  Ego worries about messing up or being perfect, shut you down, make life boring & predictable and not fun =(

2. Don’t judge or compare yourself to others.  Judgment is ego based.  We all have to start building up a skill.  Image if you saw a baby learning to take her/his first steps and you were critiquing the kid on not doing it right or well.  Keep this image with you as you take your next step toward your heart’s desire.  Remember notions such as  “ I should know how to do this by myself” or “This should be easier” are ego messages.

3. Don’t try to project something that you are not feeling: This is an advanced step to take when you want to truly live emotionally conscious and authentic.  Your tendency is to pull out the false self when you feel fear.  We all do it.  Instead, allow yourself to be who you are in that moment.

One of my long-time mentors is Sonia Choquette.   I remember a story she shared a long time ago.  She was doing a presentation in front of business people, which were typically not the type of people interested in having a psychic speak.  She started off by saying to them “You scare me.” In turn they responded, “You scare us!”  They shared a big laugh and most importantly Sonia’s willingness to be authentic allowed them to connect.  If she would have pretended to be confident, the energy would have been much different.  The reason is because there would have been unconscious defensiveness that would have inhibited the relationship formed, as well as the degree participants were able to receive Sonia’s guidance.

4. Honor what you authentically have got going for you: Another advanced step is to set aside what you feel you lack and focus in on that which you are authentically feeling that feels supportive.  Maybe you aren’t feeling confident, but you feel excited or perhaps more attuned to others, even humble.  Honor the gift this feeling brings forward within you and the uniqueness of the connection it offers.

What these steps do is provide you with ways to authentically gain inner confidence.  What you are doing through these steps is choosing your essence/authentic self over your fears and ego blocks.  The more you do, the more inner confidence you generate, the better you feel and connections are made easier and effortlessly!

Living Emotionally Conscious & Exceptionally Well Together,

How to deal with annoying people

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Ahh, we all encounter someone from time to time that pushes an internal button and, like most of us, you will find the person annoys the heck out of you.  Recently, I was asked to appear on FOX to answer how to address this common, yet irritating issue.  To find resolve, follow this 5 step plan to let go of your internal button:

1. Understand Your Reaction: What is my reaction about?  What am I defending?

2. Me, be defensive?: You defend that which feels vulnerable.  What is that vulnerability in you that you don’t want others to see?

3. Acceptance: How can you apply greater acceptance and  non-judgment to that vulnerablity?  What is the benefit to you having this vulnerability?

4. Tell the Difference between Truth vs Falsehood: What about having that vulnerability isn’t true that feels inappropriately put on you?

5. Honor More of You: By acknowledging the truth vs the falseness to what is pushing your button, you are able to honor yourself more fully.  In other words, you create further acceptance of yourself, which allows you to more honestly discriminate what is and is not your truth.  As you share your acceptance and clarity with the person who once annoyed you, you will find your internal button diminishing right before your eyes!

Live Emotionally Conscious & Exceptionally Well,

The Gift of the Season – Access Your Divine Spark!

Silence…ahh, sweet silence.  The silence I crave is not simply slowing down.  You know as well as I do, you can slow yourself down, while your mind keeps going.  During the holidays, for many of you, silence is hard to come by as life seems overly full (as do our bellies).  Others, on the other hand, may feel the depth of silence, when life feels less full than you would desires it to be.  In either case, neither describes silence.  You can have time to yourself, yet your mind can be filled with too much noise.

In the northern hemisphere, where I currently live, the length of darkness we are entering into supports us to create inner silence.  This cannot be done by simply slowing yourself down.  Creating inner silence is a type of miracle in and of itself.  I have been practicing meditation 6 days a week, for over eight years.  Obviously, I am no yogi, yet I have enough experience under my belt to know what a gift true silence from within is.  Sometimes, you grasp the silence for just a few fleeting moments.  Other times, you can be swept away by the gift of silence without realizing how much time has elapsed.  During the holidays, the later type of silence is few and far between.

Just as nature has a period in which the external conditions lie dormant in order to prepare for transformation beneath the surface, so do we.  The darkness outside, is beckoning for you to go to the darkness inside and be swept away by the silence residing within you.  What you will find is a light guiding you, telling you more about your true path and the next steps for you to take.

Whether you are Christian or not, you have likely heard of the Christmas song, “Silent Night.”  I have heard and sung the song so many times myself, yet rarely paid attention to the point being made.  Silence is where miracles are born from and occur.  Silence is the core of the potential that awaits within you – the same as it does for humanity as a whole.

Silence is a gift that cannot be created, yet can be found.  No matter what your spiritual beliefs are, silence is a true gift the season offers.  This is the time of year when the Divine Spark within you is waiting to be found at a deeper layer.  Take this time to go within and discover what miracles are waiting to manifest through you.   Only you can decide if the silence within you is worth finding.

Here’s to celebrating the silence within!

Happiest of Holidays to You!

Find Greater Joy & Fulfillment through Connection!

Connection is the key to expansion and December is such a wonderful month to connect!  I know for many of you, your plates can feel like you have enough servings for four people instead of just you.  As we step into a month that is known for hustling and bustling, slow down to reflect how your energy is best used.

What will bring you joy, fulfillment, or laughter?

What does your essence feel called to do prior to the end of 2010?

Because who you are is a one-of-a-kind ball of energy, you are deeply needed in the world.  How you are needed may appear simple at times, like almost anyone could fill in.  However, the fact you are in any given circumstance brings unique perspective, talents, feelings and actions that no one else can offer in the same manner.

Often times, your ego will dismiss how significant you really are, how you really do touch others and the numerous ways your energy can be applied.   You hear reasons in your mind as to why you should not offer your energy.  I understand.  I get tired too, especially during the holidays.  This is a signal to get back on track to what will bring you greater internal wealth.  Often times, energy is leaked on trying to create external circumstances that appear abundant rather than feel abundant.

To get back on track, do the following:

1. Think about how you can give of yourself that has nothing to do about the holidays.  You just do it because it feels right to you.
2. Reach out to those who need support.  This can be anything from supporting those with less material access to calling up a family member.
3. Chose joy over perfection.  So what if your holiday cards got out late if it meant you had time to bake cookies with the kids.  Think of memories created through personal connection over what our should-do list tells you to-do.
4. Be open to experiences that scare you due to the fact you are being called to go outside your comfort zone.  This is an amazing gift for you to see more of your true potential!

When you connect to others in this way, you expand, your energy increases and you feel greater personal empowerment.    What a great way to end the year!

You are so deeply needed.  You are offered numerous opportunities to connect in ways that may seem insignificant to your ego, yet can have profound effect in other people’s lives.  Choose what will fuel you internally through the expansiveness of connection and you will create a fulfilling, memorable and joy-filled December!

Happy Holidays!

Live Consciously – Live Exceptionally Well,

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