How to shift an “off” day to “on”
No one ever sets off to have an “off” day. You are just going about living your life and one thing leads to another, or so it seems. If you are on the path to living your life more consciously so you can embrace more of your potential, your work is to bring awareness to what is really going on.
What is really going on during an off day is that you likely lowered your standards. Of course you are not going to go about your day thinking “Today would be a great day to lower my standards.” So how does this happen?
Believe it or not, you are most likely going to lower your standards when you are going after something you want. You see, in your mind sometimes to get what you want, you “make exceptions.” Making exceptions is fine except when you go against what feels good and right to you. The problem is that it is way too easy to make excuses even if your exception does not feel right to you.
Take me for example. Yesterday, I had an appointment with a really well-known figure regarding his participation in the next New Consciousness Audio Series. Unfortunately, the appointment time was incorrectly scheduled and if I wanted to fit in to his very busy schedule, I needed to rearrange some appointments on my end. I knew at the time, I didn’t feel comfortable making changes to my schedule. It just didn’t feel right. Still, I did as I thought of how wonderful it would be to have him as a part of the series.
Against my better judgment of my inner guidance, rearrangements were made. And you know what? The rearrangements threw off my day.
Now for the kicker, HE NEVER CALLED!
You see it is these little instances where boundaries weaken and you can easily have no clue. After all you want to be a good person, so you think you should give people the benefit of the doubt, be compassionate etc…. What happens is then that you are likely going to blow off your contribution to the problem. You will say to yourself something like “It is no big deal.”
You are correct in that it is no big deal to the other person involved. Yet, the truth is that instances in which you lower your boundaries should matter to you.
In my case, I could have easily forgotten about it and just have my assistant reschedule with his assistant. No big deal right? WRONG!
The big deal is that how I feel going about my day matters to me. Being in flow with my work makes a big difference in my day and I don’t like feeling “off.”
What is key to remember is that this has everything to do with my actions and not his. If I would have listened to my inner guidance, this wouldn’t have impacted my day as it did. It would have been “on.”
You are going to mess up at times and not listen to your inner guidance, just as I did. If you want to remain living emotionally unconscious (like many do) you will easily blow off lowering your standards. You won’t recognize how you disregarded your inner wisdom and then you will wonder why life at times feels like such a struggle.
Living emotionally conscious, however, you can choose to recognize your part in the equation. When you do, you are living more empowered because you see how you can handle circumstances in a way that is in greater alignment with your essence.
And this, my friends, is exactly how healthy boundaries are created! It is through the times when you dismiss your boundaries that can affirm the importance of boundaries in your life.
It is just like how successful people have experienced a lot of failures prior to their success. The same holds true with your boundaries. People with healthy boundaries that supports them to live their best life have become conscious of the times when their boundaries were lax. The reason is that in both cases, you learn and grow – IF YOU ARE WILLING & AWARE!
Of course, I became aware of this instance by recognizing my annoyance, which was really just light weight anger. Utilizing my anger from an emotionally conscious state, I realized my feelings were about me claiming more of my power. Through that understanding, I claimed back my power through re-establishing boundaries that feel good and right to me.
For me, the person who blew off our appointment has nothing to do with how I felt. He was simply the vehicle of how I was supposed to remember my truth to support me as my work progresses. The stakes may become higher, but my truth remains the same. Evidently, I needed that reminder! Once I got it, my day went from feeling “off” to feeling back “on!”
You need reminders when you are on your path to grow and evolve. Your emotions are there to support you to stay on track. Choose to live emotionally conscious to embrace the power within you that will allow you to turn around an “off” day and get back “on” track to living your best life!
Live Emotionally Conscious – Live Exceptionally Well,
Want to Feel More Excitement about Your Life?
Don’t you love the feeling of excitement running through your body. You are optimistic, ready to move forward and utilize that energy within you to make things happen. This is actually the purpose of excitement – to propel you forward!
Believe it or not, your fear is the same energy as excitement. The only difference is that your ego has taken a hold of the energy and turned it into what you recognize as fear. You know the ego is involved with fear because you’ll feel weighed down, uncertain, scared, anxious or sad.
From an emotional consciousness standpoint, you recognize the true purpose to your fears. They are present to alert you that you are buying into an ego message. Congratulations – just recognizing this is a huge step forward!
Now, to transmute the fear into the energy of excitement, all you need to do is understand the underlying message of the ego.
When this happens to me, I turn to my feelings to help me uncover the truth. Nothing is better than recognizing sadness as loving guidance for you to get the clarity you need. What I love about feeling every emotion as love is that the process allows you to get very specific as to what is your vulnerable spot that the ego is trying to protect.
Your sadness supports you to gain clarity and see the truth to the matter rather than the false story of your ego. Fear is then transformed back to excitement because the energy that you have given to your ego is now reverted back to your essence. When your essence is free to do what it came here to do, you will be blown away at your ability to move mountains! That is the energy that awaits you!!
What this means for you is to begin to see each and every fear as opportunity. The opportunity is to understand where, why and how your energy is leaking toward your ego. The time has come to reclaim that energy back to serving you and utilizing your excitement to even more deeply claim what fulfills you.
The good news is that fear is a normal part to growth. I feel it all the time and I utilize my fear to support me to reach my desires. You can too!
Begin by reminding and stating to yourself of the following:
“Each time I feel fear, it is an opportunity for me to expand and own more of my personal power and truth.”
You and only you can make the decision if you are going to use fear to transform you or keep you stuck. Your fate is in your hands! Now that is something to feel excited about – you have the choice to claim all of your potential!
Live Emotionally Conscious – Live Exceptionally Well,
Michelle
My Response to a Dysfunctional Self-Actualizing Philosopher
Subject: dysfunctional self-actualizing philosopher
To: Michelle Bersell <support@michellebersell.com>
Michelle…Ok..today I own my ’state’. I am paralyzed by my lack of confidence. I drown it in other lack – not enough knowledge, not likeable, not this not that. I drop into this pool of cement and struggle with the struggle. I know what I am doing and have winds of lightness and grace but I can’t seem to undo something that keeps me from allowing my life to shine.
I was shocked to hear a friend say to me years ago – You have a lot of self-hatred. I am thankful for this comment as I awakened to myself. I played with the programming, with energy and with knowledge. I have dramatically changed my lifepath.
It’s a new world but I am not knowing how to live in it. I yell out – ok, teach me the lesson and lessen the teaching so I can move on. Something in my programming or willingness is making me a dysfunctional self-actualizing philosopher of sorts. Debt and pounds are adding up and I am inert. Kids are feeling insecure about Mom. I am missing a link.
What do you suggest?
Jane
Hi Jane,
First of all I want to acknowledge that it takes courage to say, “Look, I have been on this personal development path for quite some time and I am still struggling.” Trust me, you are not alone. It is not your fault because the emotion piece that understands the ego, your fears and feelings from a spiritual perspective has been missing.
I know exactly where you are – been there, done that! To be frank, the missing link is you getting so tired and so damn bored of your ego’s story that you become willing to fight for your essence. I mean aren’t the stories of your ego boring to you? For how long have you been hearing the message you aren’t enough this or you are not enough that? For a very, very long time right? And where has it gotten you? How have those messages served you?
Now is the time to get ANGRY that you have bought into those messages for so long. You have to be willing to say “ENOUGH, NO LONGER WILL I BUY INTO MESSAGES THAT DO NOT SERVE ME” and then take action.
ACTION IS KEY! Anger is your power and will support you to finally claim energy on behalf of your essence to take action. Have you been using your anger from a consciousness level to tap into your internal power? What we have to be careful about being on this path is thinking, reading and taking too many courses on your personal development. Why? Because then you remain a philosopher rather than experiencing what it is you are learning about.
You have to be willing to take one step each and every day to the benefit of your essence. Even if it doesn’t make sense to your rational brain, listen to your essence. Your spirit is BEGGING YOU to TAKE A RISK. Take an honest look at what you have to lose. Your spirit is being cut off from life by how you are living. It doesn’t get worse than that!
If you continue to take risks on behalf of your essence, you guarantee a breakthrough. If you continue to listen to the voices of your ego, you guarantee yourself to remain spinning your wheels and more pain. I will say this to you lovingly because I have been exactly where you are at emotionally; There comes a time when we have to stop whining and take responsibility for our lives. Your anger from a consciousness level will help you see this. Now is your time.
Live Emotionally Conscious – Live Exceptionally Well,
Michelle
To gain further assistance with how to utilize your emotions to propel your personal growth, check out my F.E.E.L. Virtual Mastery Program at http://www.michellebersell.com/feel/. So many have already shared how F.E.E.L. is impacting their life and I hope it will change yours as well!
What’s Your Body’s Story?
Recently, I have been hearing from a lot of people, clients and friends, disclaimers regarding their sense of self, especially when it came to their appearance. They complain that their body has changed and they yearn for that younger, thinner, wrinkle-free version of themselves.
This got me thinking about how aware we are of the aspects of ourselves that we deem as not measuring up yet often unaware of the stories behind the judgments. You carry your body around with you all day, yet did you ever stop to think what is my body’s story? Before you go down the path of yet another diet or exercise plan, it is time to make peace with your body. Uncovering your body’s story is going to support you to get to the truth of what is truly upsetting you. As you make peace with your body, you are going to claim overall well-being at a deeper level.
Here is what you can do to begin to uncover your body’s story:
1) Your body as a child:
Think about for a minute how you felt about your body as a child. What is your story then? How did you eat? How did you feel overall?
2) Your body as an adolescent:
Same questions as above, plus notice the role of judgment toward your body from yourself and others as to whether it increased, decreased or stayed the same as from when you were a child
3) Your current story regarding your body:
Are there any aspects to your body that you wish were different? Have you always felt this way or when did you begin judging your body in this way? Do you disassociate yourself from your body not paying too much attention to it’s appearance or are you overly attentive and critical?
4) Create a new story:
What can you learn about how you viewed your body as a child? How can you begin to shift your view of your body to be seen as a tool to promote self-love? What would a more balanced perspective toward your body look like? (more or less exercise, more healthy food or more joy food? Etc) How do you believe this view would change those around you? How would this view change your sense of self.
As you become conscious of your body, it is important to find a middle way. As you truly feel better about yourself internally, you desire health in all areas of your life. Your body becomes one part of that expression of health – a story of treating your whole self with true love and deep respect.
Live Consciously – Live Exceptionally Well,
Michelle
Understanding the fear of speaking from an emotional consciousness viewpoint
Hi Michelle,
I have been following you and I want you to know it is an honor to be connected. I live in India and inspire to become big. I have everything in me but two things stop me to attain my aspirations. First, I have a fear of public speaking that holds me back like anything. For last 5 years I have been trying to overcome the same but I still find me struggling with words and my thoughts when it comes to public speaking. The second problem is that after trying hard for anything I find myself deviating from that thing. I basically lack dedication. I read your page and thought to mail you. Hope you reply back and your suggestions help me.
Regards,
Sumit
Dear Sumit,
Let’s get a clear understanding about what fear is about from an emotional consciousness standpoint. Fear is the voice of your ego. Your essence/spirit/inner voice (whatever you prefer to call it) is the part of you that has aspirations to share your message. Also, what you call a “lack of dedication” is also the voice of your ego. There is nothing wrong with you. You are simply allowing your ego to win because even though you work hard toward a goal, there is a part of you that fears the outcome.
Right now your ego is winning, which indicates to me a very important aspect that you need to address. You don’t believe enough in your essence. There is a part of you that does but it isn’t enough because your ego is still winning. You need to write down and give your rational mind and ego proof of what you have accomplished.
Most importantly you need to continue to develop a deeper relationship that honors your inner voice more than you do the messages of your ego. How do you demonstrate to your spirit that you listen, love and care for this vital aspect of you? If you don’t or you push this part of you around with putting everything else in front of your spirit, you cannot expect your spirit to be strong enough to overcome your ego when you try to attain a goal. Your fear will always be there as you evolve and grow. You demonstrate your spirit is ready to make that leap when you essences is properly fueled by love and respect by you. Then your spirit is more powerful and sees the truth to your fears.
Lastly, you are overly judgmental of yourself. Maybe not in all areas but certainly when it comes to your career. Remind yourself that every time you critique yourself, you diminish your relationship with your essence. I would suggest seeking support that guides you to recognize the voice of your ego and tune into more the voice that your spirit sings.
Sending you much love on your journey!
Live Emotionally Conscious – Live Exceptionally Well,
Michelle
To make sure you don’t miss any of my posts, be sure to sign up for my free newsletter at www.michellebersell.com. Only newsletter subscribers can send their “Ask Michelle” requests!
Before I uncovered the truth to our emotions, I would become paralyzed by my feelings and fears, even though I had been professionally trained as a psychotherapist and life coach!
