Four Steps to Break Free from Self-Sabotage

You never know how you are going to be called to serve in a given day.  On this particular day, I was called to serve by rescuing a trapped bird.  During the recent storms we’ve been experiencing, the bird found shelter in a lamp post outside my home.  At the time, it likely seemed genius for the bird to go through a broken glass plate in the lamp to score such a safe, dry, comfortable place to rest.

Fast-forward to the next day and the bird is wigging out because what, at one point, looked like safety was now her trap.  As soon as I saw her, struggling and fighting to break her way free, I could relate to her instantly.  So many times, I have found myself or one of my clients pushing and fighting to make things happen.  We have set in our mind what we want, yet our actions only leave us exhausted and no where closer to where we want to be.

Now, all the bird needed to do was turn around to find the same hole was there for her to get out of this mess.  The problem was the hole in the lamp post was directly facing my garage – the opposite direction of where she wanted to go.  She was looking out at the other intact glass plates and saw trees and other birds happily flying along.  She was likely thinking “Out there is where I want to be.”  It would be easy to think “Just turn around little bird and you’ll see how easy it is to get your desired outcome.”  But she doesn’t take a step back, she just keeps bumping into the glass plate in front of her.  She sees where she wants to go, yet her efforts aren’t working.

Sound familiar?   How many times do you find yourself in the same spot despite your efforts?  That is your indicator that you too are operating from fear.  When you are in a state of fear, whether you are conscious of it or not, you are taken away from what actually serves and supports your highest good.  Just as the bird was afraid of being stuck, so often are we.  Yet the direction our fears tell us to go is often the opposite direction of what will actually serve us.  Just as the bird’s fear was telling her to keep pushing against a glass plate, we keep pushing against the tides of life.

To help my poor bird friend, I knew what I needed to do.  I got in front of her face and looked her straight in the eyes.  Although I was scary and obviously made her uncomfortable, I did this for a reason – to allow her to see the easiest way out of her situation.  Only in that moment was she able to turn the other direction and finally see how to set herself free from her own trap.  In an instant, she was gone and free to live as her heart guided her.

Guess what, your negative emotions are trying to do the same loving gesture as I did for the bird.  Now just as the bird did not think me getting in front of her face was loving, we often don’t think of our negative feelings as loving.  They are!

I know when you first experience a negative feelings, they make you feel uncomfortable and might even feel scary or overwhelming, just like my big eyes were to the bird.  Yet, negative feelings are loving because when you consciously learn to listen to the higher vibrational message, they are there to guide you.  Your negative feelings actually signal to you how you are going the wrong way AND give you the guidance you need to get back on track.

Unfortunately, you are often too busy trying to fight your negative feelings.  You distance yourself from your negative feelings in order keep going in the direction that you think will get your needs met.  Then you wonder why you aren’t getting your desired outcome met.

 Here’s the human guide to break free from fear and/or self-imposed limitations:

Step One: Recognize that where you are is not where you want to be.  It is so easy to keep ourselves busy – so darn easy in this society to stay busy, right?  The truly courageous move is to slow yourself down and see if you are living in alignment with what you truly desire.  Otherwise, you are acting like our bird friend – doing a lot of the same action over and over, yet not getting very far.

Step Two: Listen to your feelings.  If you truly are committed to living your fullest life possible, you must be willing to face your fear.  For us human folk that means listening to aspects of ourselves that aren’t happy.  The good news is that you only have fear when you are ready to expand.  Otherwise, you would feel fulfilled right where you are.

Step Three:  Look your ego in the eye.  When you listen to your feelings, the ego is the first to speak and its language is fear.  What your ego is going to share with you is the illusion.  Remember, to our bird friend, she only saw one way to freedom, yet it was completely incorrect.  Write down the limitations that you hear come forward from your fear.  How are they working for you?  You need to know because that is where you are operating from.  If you feel that what you have is better than nothing, that is a clear indication that fear is running and limiting your life.

Step Four: Risk letting go.   Your ego will tell you a whole bunch of stories that you are letting go of your dream if you stop listening to your fear.  That is the illusion!  You access your ideal when you choose to let go.  Back up, choose another option (there always is at least one, if not several, other choices to choose from).  This is when you will witness real courage and strength within you.

The shifts that are occurring  in your life are present to remind you of your truth.

This truth is: you are stronger and more courageous than you realize.

We are each being called to ACT upon this inner strength, as talk is no longer enough.  The way we have learned to understand our emotions has set us all up to struggle.  There is a new way.  In the upcoming weeks, I am going to share with you more about how this new way will radically change how you feel and live, supporting you to act more fully from love, courage and strength.

My Abundant Little Life

It is so easy nowadays to get triggered with a sense of lack:

- You see people rocking it on Facebook.
- You see reality shows where people are living extraordinary lives.
- You see your own debt.

That is when it is easy to get overwhelmed or feel down.

There is another way!

Let me share with you a little story that just happened so you can see how easy it really is to receive!!

What about you? Are you ready to live (or already living) an abundant little life? Share with me how.

Is Your Worth Based on Love or Fear?

Yesterday was a challenging day.  I felt myself in a state of fear as I reworked the chapter on fear in my upcoming book.  Coincidence?  I don’t think so!

The truth of the matter is I am eager to get my book done.  In fact, I told my editor it would be done by early next week.  My fear was making me push myself.  I started questioning myself and became frustrated.  The chapter wasn’t feeling right.

Thankfully, I know how to understand my frustration from the higher consciousness of love.  In fact, my upcoming book Feel Every Emotion as Love teaches how each of your negative feelings presents themselves in order for you to get back on track from living from a state of love.  Each negative feeling has a specific message to guide you back on course.

My frustration was there to notify me that what I am doing isn’t going to work for me.  You see, in my quest to get my book finished, I have been lacking nurturing myself.  That’s when I realized how I had fallen back into basing my worth on fear rather than love.

Oh how often I do this – because I am a doer.  Doers are great and yet in order for our doing to be effective, it must be balanced with time to receive nurturance, love and care.  For me that is often taking time to read in the middle of the day, go for a walk, color, or turn on Ellen (I love her!).  I am only nurturing myself for 20-30 minutes and then I feel revitalized.

When I base my worth on fear, there is no time for nurturing myself.  My worth, I believe in that moment, is about getting things done at nearly all costs.  My frustration came in to remind me this is no longer my way.  Sure I will still get triggered from time to time when deadlines loom.  The truth of the matter is I wasted a ton of time yesterday pushing myself.  Way more time than the 20-30 minutes I usually give to myself as a nurturance break.

Not today – Today has already been magical and will continue to be so.  As I was rushing to get to yoga, another plan arose in me.  I knew I needed to get outside. I went for a run and I swear to you the butterflies were dancing with me.  The birds were singing, dragonflies twirling and bees humming along.  What a gift!

I came home and laid on the lawn.  Even though it was cool, I took off my sweatshirt and allowed the sun to soak into my bare arms and face.  I felt thoroughly connected again to the love that surrounds me as well as the love that radiates from within me.

From this place of where I stand now, where I am thoroughly connected to love, I am once again reminded of the important choice we all have.  We each have a choice, and it truly is your choice, to base your worth on love or fear.

I choose love.  From love, is where we can all be our best and truly be of service to others.   I am so grateful for the magic that occurs when we remember to love.

And now, I can’t wait to dive back into my book and share more deeply how our fear is here to serve us!  So I am off to share more of my insight there.

Before I go, I would love to hear from you.  Have you been basing your worth on fear rather than love lately?  What ways do you nurture yourself?  Please share because we aren’t on this journey alone and your messages impact others (whether your ego allows you to realize it or not)!

With great love and appreciation for you-

Michelle

What’s Stopping You from Sharing More of Yourself?

Here we are at the Spring Equinox, a time for rebirth and transformation.  This spring of 2012, is a time when we need to be conscious of our personal awakening.  We are at the beginning of welcoming in a new way of being and living, as the world we live in is and will continue to experience many changes.  Now more than ever is your time to spread your wings and tap into your courage to be your full expression of self.

In your heart, you already know what it would feel like to be fully expressed.  You would be sharing a part of yourself that serves others.  Sharing yourself in this way will bring you great joy and fulfillment.

Yet, what stops you from spreading your wings?  At times, you are likely connected to that feeling in your heart where you believe in yourself so completely.  Other times, fear and negative feelings may be unconsciously dictating your reactions to life.  Rather than feel expansive, you close your wings and bring them in tight, close to you.  At that moment, you have gone into what I call your “Safe-Self.”

Let’s face it, being your Fully Expressed Self is risky.  You’re letting your wings spread bigger than you ever have.  You are allowing yourself to be truly seen.

Although sharing yourself in this way is how your heart is guiding you to live, your ego thinks differently.  Your ego wants to keep you safe -either by living inside the box: where you live afraid of how others view you OR by remaining feeling comfortable in your own skin - feeling good yet, not completely fulfilled.

The problem is your safe self is a version of being the victim.  Now let me be clear, I have no problem when we go into the victim or safe mode of living.  Being the victim or safe-self has times when it serves us to lick our wounds and nurture ourselves in order that we can pick ourselves up again after being hurt or feeling threatened.  At the same time, both being the victim and remaining in safe self mode can be overplayed and don’t serve your highest good.

Now thankfully, no one likes to remain the victim for too long.  Eventually you see you aren’t able to create the life you want remaining disempowered.  Yet, the safe self is another story.  We like staying safe – even at the expense of your true self and of the life that could be possible if you followed your heart.

The problem is that the sense of safety you are buying into is false.  It is an illusion to have your short-term needs met, while taking away your chances to have your long-term desires fulfilled.

This spring, as we are called to crack open the egg to reawaken and rebirth, ask yourself:

1. In what area of my life have I remained playing safe – by old rules, or an old role that no longer serves me?

2. Where am I longing to spread my wings and how does my safe self try to stop me?

Next, the key is to NOT judge your safe self – after all, that part of you just wants to keep you safe.  You can honor this part of you by asking:

3. How can I make you (safe self) feel safe even while I take risks to express and share myself more fully?

What your safe self ultimately wants to feel safe from is actually YOU – the harsh critic, self-doubting you!  Sure you may project that others are criticizing or judging you.  The reality is even if people were, you wouldn’t notice unless there was a part of you doing the same.

So the question really is:

4. How do I make myself safe from the part of me that picks on myself?

The answer is you listen to your negative feelings from the standpoint of love rather than fear.  From the standpoint of love, you hear more of your truth.  The more your truth guides you, the more you transform to your fullest expression of self.

(If you aren’t certain how to listen to your negative feelings from love rather than fear, don’t worry.  I will be filling you in with more details in the upcoming weeks. Just know your negative feelings hold vital energy to fuel your full expression.)

Until then, work on breaking the habit of putting yourself down by replacing those thoughts and actions with those that build yourself up.

Allow this spring of 2012 to be the catalyst to a new you – one which refuses to no longer think negatively about you.  Now how safe does that feel?  Think how differently you would respond to risk, to spreading your wings and sharing more of yourself in service to others.  All you need to do is remember:

•   *  There is more of you your heart wants you to share and you are ready to support this vision to become your reality.

• You have your emotions and thoughts on your side.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              *  Your emotions are the fuel to your intentions!

Now is your time to gather energy from both your positive AND negative feelings (understood from love rather than fear) to ignite yourself out of your comfort zone and into a life that feels fully expressed!

Now let’s hear from you!  What are the strategies you use to build yourself up when your ego wants to judge you instead.  (Remember now is your time to break out of the chrysalis of “your norm” and share more of you!)

See what suggestions others share that feel like a good fit for you.  When you add those suggestions to your emotional fuel – the sky’s the limit!

Here’s to “springing” a fuller expression of you!

With love and appreciation,

 

Untame Your Heart

The untamed heart holds no fear.  You are run by passion and intuition.  You let go of control and have an innate trust in yourself.

Wow!  Think about what life would be like if you lived it like that!

I am not saying you must always live with an untamed heart every single moment of your life (although you could).

My question is:

* When was the last time you allowed your untamed heart to be expressed?

* When was the last time you expressed this part of you in your day to day life?

* Do others get to see, taste and feel the bold, wild you?

* Do they get to experience your unbridled power?

I am not just talking about romantic love either.  This wild spirit of yours wants to be expressed in your work, with your friends and family – in all areas of your life.  You have the spirit of a wild horse running within you and so often you are trying to keep it tame.  Why?

The reason why we all unconsciously tame ourselves is because we’ve been programed by our fears.  Fear we will not be loved, liked or accepted should we show this untamed side.

Here’s the cost:

• Lack of self-trust and confidence
• Lack of joy and laughter
• Lack of bold action that initiates much needed change in your life & in the world
• Lack of true intimacy
• Lack of passion and purpose

And so much more…

So, how about we change that?

Here’s how:

1 A. Imagine yourself sharing this bold or wild side.

B. What do you fear people will judge about you?  What might you feel ashamed about?

C. Name how that part of you is important, needed and necessary. In other words, how does that part of you serve and support you when expressed from love?

2 A. Image yourself afraid to share your bold or wild side.

B. How do you judge or shame that part of you?

C. Name how that part of you is important, needed and necessary.  In other words, how does that part of you serve and support you when expressed from love?

Every aspect of you is needed and necessary.  You need both sides.  Yet, too often we want to hide in our fears.  At times, this can be okay because that allows others to take care of us.  Of course, being taken care of can feel nice.  Yet, when we stay in our fear too long, we won’t feel good because there is unexpressed potential waiting to be shared.

When you have an untamed heart, you are fearless.  What the world needs from each of us is to become less fearless of ourselves.  In other words, we become brazen – meaning, we don’t carry shame toward ourselves.

Without this shame, you are able to truly lead.  This is what the world is begging for – more who are willing to lead during times when challenges seem impossible to surmount.  Guess what?  To do that, they’ll need the bold & empowered you to step forward.  This is how you can give of yourself and serve fearlessly.  So whadaya say?

There is nothing about you that needs to be shamed.  We are all one, carrying the same fears, questions, doubts and insecurities.  We do this until we find our truth – that we are each love.  To find this truth, you must consciously chose love over fear.

Whenever you feel your love tank can use a little boost, or whenever you need a little self-confidence, choose to express your wild, bold & brazen self.   Each time you do, you step further away from the safe persona you have built and more fully awaken to your joy, beauty and power in revealing all of you!

Happy Valentine’s Day Wild One!

With lots of love from me to you-

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