Why false perceptions matter
Do you ever find that people have a perception of you that isn’t necessarily true? People tend to make assumptions about you and your life base on some of the external components to your life. Do you ever find that you actually want them to believe in that perception they have about you even though it isn’t accurate? I have!
I have learned from experience, however, how something as seemingly harmless as going along with a false perception impacts you. The impact is unconscious and can have lasting impact. The reason is because when you go along with a false perception a part of you is hiding – typically hiding from your own shame and judgment.
Allow me to share a recent experience to explain this concept in more detail. Recently, I was being congratulated by someone I knew fairly well on some recent successes. They also alluded to the idea that I must be enjoying the financial rewards to my success. At that moment, I felt a slight twinge. A part of me so easily could have went with what she was saying by not agreeing or disagreeing and just move along in our conversation. No harm done right? Wrong!
What that twinge was about was the fight between my ego and my authentic self. I knew a part of me wanted her to buy into the false perception that I am currently swimming in the dough! That was exactly the problem. Because of my work with emotional consciousness, I knew this was an opportunity for me to recognize that deep within me judgment about my finances existed. I simply told her that her assumption was not the case. After our conversation finished was when my inner work began.
Utilizing the tools I teach, I began to play detective regarding what I was judging. Fortunately, I am very fine tuned to my feelings and rather than blow them off, I saw this as a gift that I wanted to claim! That is the beauty regarding your feelings because they are always available to allow you to expand and grow even more. Obviously there was more growth for me to do around this topic!
In regard to finances, I have personally grown to understand that my needs and desires are always taken care of, so that wasn’t the issue. The fear and judgment that came up was in regard to my profession. I felt shame and embarrassment around the idea that should you (meaning this community) find out about the amount of money I make, you would deem me as no longer credible. Of course, this is a projection of my own judgments. The shame is because of my own judgment that exists, even though logically I know it isn’t true. That is the thing about fears, they aren’t logical.
Even though fears are not completely logical, you will always have others that will fuel your fears. After discussing this upcoming blog with a few of my peers – coaches, business experts etc.., they told me it was career suicide for me to share my process with you. I was told that I want others to see me professionally as the image of success.
Image, however, is exactly what I believe hides us from being able to live authentically, freely and more empowered lives. I know from experience that a part of my potential would be lost should I give into the fear. So, I choose not to buy into the fear. I knew that you judge me based on the value of my content, whether it supports you to grow and evolve in your life as well, and not on any image that pretends I don’t have my own process. In fact, because I do have my own process, I feel that my experiences support me to further understand the traps and ways in which we unconsciously hinder ourselves.
The point of me sharing this with you is not about whether or not I make enough money. The point is how false perceptions can be an opportunity for you to recognize your fears. Sometimes your fears jump out. To consciously grow, however, you want to be a detective to search for what else is waiting within you to evolve away from the ego and into more of your potential.
False perceptions happen all the time because we have the tendency to want people to see us at our best. You rejoice in sharing the good and blessings that you are able to experience. You need to make sure that you aren’t hiding behind the good in order to remain distant from the judgments and fears within you.
Should you find yourself tempting to hide behind a false perception, use the experience to see how your ego wants you to buy into not being enough for where you are currently at in your life. This is how shifts begin by not needing what is false to be a part of your identity or self worth. When you no longer need the illusions of the ego, your ego can let go and make room for creating more of what you desire. I know this because I have used this process to change many aspects of my life. The work isn’t always easy but it is definitely worth doing!
Love and Gratitude for YOU!
You know when you have those moments of profound gratitude and appreciation in life? Well, this morning was one of those mornings for me and what I was feeling profound appreciation, love and gratitude was for you. I am so honored that you are a part of this community. With the information overload that we are in, you choose to get one more email, take time out of your day to open it up and read it. Thank You!
I also want to say that I honor you for the path you are on to enhance your life as well as your continued commitment to your personal evolution. No one really sees the time, effort and energy you have committed to this part of yourself and it often goes unacknowledged. I acknowledge you for choosing to expand rather than contract.
What I really feel the connection is between me and you is about expansive energy. I don’t know your face, we aren’t physically together, yet I feel a connection. Usually, I try to support people to recognize the expansive energy that is within negative emotions. After all, it is a part of our human experience that often gets ignored or contorted.
What I sensed today is a need to remember the energy of love that is hard to define, yet exists. Of course, you know it. You feel it all the time with your family, friends and nature but what about the love that has no or little physical connection. The connection we have is different. There is a small physical component as you see my emails, yet the email is not what our connection is about. We bond through experiences, feelings, thoughts and the words that celebrate or bring greater understanding to our day to day experiences. Do we dare call that energy love? I do!
I just want you to know that I feel your energy as well. I thank you for the energy, thoughts and love you send my way.
I also want to celebrate the expansive energy within you in all its forms. Today, may it be a day that you honor yourself for the energy you give to others and all of life without even knowing it. You are life affirming and it is felt!
Love is in the negative and the positive and it is just up to us to recognize it. Thank you for choosing me to be one of your humble guides, as I use my own stumbling blocks along the way to share with you the love that is within all that we feel. We are all meant to be the givers and recipients of love. The more we are open to that in our lives through all of our connections, the more love expands. Thank you for allowing my heart to expand by receiving my thoughts, feelings and energy through each email I send your way.
Wishing many continued blessings to awe inspiring you, as you continue to live emotionally conscious and exceptionally well!
The real process of making your dreams a reality
Do you ever feel weighed down, filled with self-doubt or procrastinating? Good, these are all really good signs that you are on your way to making your dreams happen! You think I am kidding, I am not. The truth is that when you go for making a positive shift happen in your life, you are going to run into some internal obstacles. The reason is that you are being called to expand and share more of yourself in one way or another.
Of course, your ego isn’t going to allow you to claim more of your authentic self and potential without putting up a fight. As you get closer to taking the next step on your path to claiming potential, you are going to run into self-doubt. These doubts are going to make you procrastinate and ultimately feel weighted down.
You would think that your goal is to try to get rid of your weighted down feelings and doubts so you can move forward, right? Wrong! Making your goal to be getting rid of your negative thoughts and feelings can set you up for an internal battle that you won’t win! You automatically lose because your energy is being wasted on your ego.
Unfortunately, the vast majority of the self-help tools currently available unknowingly guide you to focus more of your energy and beliefs on your ego rather than your inner truth and power. Your negative feelings have a more significant meaning that goes beyond the ego, if and when you learn how to let go of the ego drama.
So how do you let go of the ego drama?
SURRENDER! When you consciously choose to surrender to your ego, you aren’t engaging in the battle. Doing so consciously allows you to listen to what messages your ego is sharing with you. Now you have those messages out in the open and you see how either ridiculous or repetitive and non-serving they are. Once the ego feels it has been heard, your authentic voice will have room to share the necessary insight that will support you to move forward. Then it is up to you to choice which message is going to serve you to obtain your dream.
Rather than surrender, what most people do is try to dismiss, positive think over or rise above their ego message. Although it sounds nice, it doesn’t work. You must consciously choose if you want to do what sounds nice or what will actually support you to move forward. Doing what sounds nice in this instance is reacting based on the old-world understanding regarding your feelings. Even though you may convince yourself that your ego has diminished, it is impacting you in more unconscious ways that will keep you internally struggling and stagnant. Rather than freeing the energy of your ego, you are unconsciously empowering it while all along distancing yourself from the true insight your essence is offering you.
Ask yourself what you are afraid of when it comes to surrendering to your ego and that will tell you the power your ego still holds over you. The answer is to find internal peace and it begins by surrendering to all aspects of you! This is how you will be able to truly F.E.E.L.: Feel Every Emotion as Love and more profoundly open yourself to the gifts within you. When those feelings of doubt creep in, rather than weigh you down, F.E.E.L. will give you the insight you need to move forward. As you trust and follow your insight, feelings that once weighed you down shift to bring you more energy and vitality toward life. In doing so, your dreams become a reality!
It is an honor to have you join the evolution to live emotionally conscious by realizing how F.E.E.L.: Feel Every Emotion as Love is life changing! If you would like to know how to apply F.E.E.L. more aptly into your own life, consider my F.E.E.L. Virtual Mastery Program at http://www.michellebersell.com/feel/ (While your ego is telling you I am selling to you, your essence knows it is my passion to teach you to hear the truth to your emotions & empower your essence. Let your essence guide you to determine if this is the support you need to move forward by trying the program risk free with a 100% money-back guarantee.)
Here’s to you living emotionally conscious and exceptionally well,
The Answer to How to Handle Your Anger & Sadness Regarding Oil Gushing into the Gulf
I have heard how furious and sad people are at what has now been going on for months in the Gulf of Mexico. Are you one of them – furious at BP and furious at the U.S. government’s handling of the situation? I am one of them too, which is why this blog is for both me and you.
You (and I) vent to others the despair and sickening feeling that you feel, but in the end you cannot stop the oil leak. You are left not knowing what to do with the anger and sadness you feel toward this tragedy. What bothers me is that along with this anger and sadness is a sense of hopelessness that there is nothing you can do. This simply is not true!
Although you and I feel right blaming BP and the government for the mess our ecology is in, I know there is a deeper answer that is waiting for you and me to claim. You see I teach a process which is called F.E.E.L.: Feel Every Emotion as Love. I know it sounds like a philosophy for sensitive people or for those emotionally challenged, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. F.E.E.L. is a process that gives you empowering insight to what you are feeling. Because you are constantly feeling about everything throughout your day (whether you are conscious or not), understanding your feelings from this emotionally conscious level changes you and how you go about living your life.
The F.E.E.L. perspective teaches what anger is really about from an emotionally conscious level. Anger from this perspective is about owning your power. You see when you turn to BP and the U.S. government about your anger, psychotherapists like myself call that projecting. It is not that there isn’t merit to that anger you feel, it is just that it keeps you in the victim mode. When you are the victim, you don’t have power and cannot create changes because you have given away your power to the voice of your ego.
F.E.E.L. supports you to listen to the inner wisdom within you, which recognizes that your feelings are present out of love to guide you back to your inner truth. You are right to be saddened and angry at the impact on the land and sea, the animals and the chemicals that are being used which will eventually show up in our food chain, causing us health problems. Your sadness is present to get really clear that you, and I – let’s face it pretty much everyone takes forgranted some aspect of our Earth and her natural resources. Can you use your sadness to get clear as to how you can honor the Earth even more?
Your anger is present to support you to claim back your power and make changes for and within you. From this level of understanding, your anger is not about revenge or blame. Those forms of anger are from the ego. Your anger from an emotional consciousness perspective supports you to ignite your power and passion to really look at you and where you fall in the picture.
Maybe you can begin with the plastic you waste. Have you used the power of your voice to demand that we get charged a sizable sum when you forget your grocery bags or does that sound too inconvenient? Do you recognize or blow off your part of the oil dependency cycle that we are in?
Seeing yourself in this light allows you to see how much more similar you and I are to BP and the U.S. government in not taking full responsibility. The government and BP are a mirror to how we don’t yet hold ourselves fully accountable either. To make the shift happen, begin with you!
There used to be a chosen few who innately knew how to use their negative feelings such as anger, sadness and frustration and use them to empower them. These are the leaders such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela and Gandhi to name a few.
We can no longer afford to only have a chosen few act from an emotionally conscious level. You too are being called to Feel Every Emotion as Love so you can live from an empowered state toward all aspects of life. This Gulf event is an awakening for all of us, myself included, in many ways.
No matter how much you are doing in regard to being environmentally conscious, I guarantee that if you feel sadness or anger that there is more responsibility that you can claim. This isn’t about being the perfect environmentalist rather this is about your essence yearning for you to take another step toward protecting our Earth. Be clear if and when you are the victim because then your ego is getting the best of you. Now is the time to tap into the potential that waits within, which only you can claim!
I would LOVE to hear your ideas about one or two steps you have already taken. It is very likely that a step that you have already done is a prime example of what someone else can do next! Also, please share one more step that you are willing to commit to now and set a date of when it will be completed.
Remember it is your ego that would have you believe that your actions are insignificant. Trust me when I say that your feelings of anger and sadness will begin to shift the moment you beginning following where your essence wants to take you in regard to this situation and every other situation in your life.
Live Emotionally Conscious – Live Exceptionally Well,
PS: If you would like more support in seeing how your feelings can support you to further tap into your potential, check out my F.E.E.L. Virtual Mastery Program. In honor of celebrating freedom in all its forms, I would like to extend a $10 off discount for the first month of my F.E.E.L. Virtual Mastery Program. If you want to learn how your feelings can support you to tap into more of your potential go to www.MichelleBersell.com/feel, which is good until July 4th.
What to Do From an Emotional Consciousness Perspective When You Lose Your Cool?
Dear Michelle,
I’m having a lot of trouble creating boundaries between my sense of peace and my 13 year old son who’s exploring risky behaviors. I wondered if you could speak to that kind of challenge. I find that his behaviors send me into really unwanted tailspins. It’s fine for me to say ok detach. And I already meditate and do yoga, but then he reveals that he’s tried stealing something and wow there goes my cool. I’m looking for ways to better mediate my emotional life so I can be a solid parent to my child. I look forward to hearing your response.
Roberta
Hi Roberta,
First of all, I want to validate your reaction when you hear that your son has attempted stealing. I am sure it blew you away knowing that he is engaging in behaviors that are not for his highest good. Of course this would be upsetting to you! My bet is, however, that your reaction isn’t feeling good to either yourself or your son. So even though I understand why you lost your cool, I want to support you to move out of the reactionary ego perspective and instead gain clarity and empowerment through emotional consciousness. So whatever you do, don’t detach from your feelings! We need your emotions to understand the next steps you need to take and to improve this situation.
The good news is that your situation applies to everyone when they lose their cool. Regardless of the circumstance, when you lose your cool, the feeling you are experience is first ANGER and second likely frustration. When you learn to recognize these feelings through the lens of love (as in Feel Every Emotion as Love) you can begin to differentiate between the messages of your ego and the messages of your essence.
Your ego reacts in anger when subconsciously you believe that your power has been taken away from you. Roberta, in your case you are feeling powerless as to how to move your son away from engaging in risky behaviors.
Frustration is where “not good enough” lives and seeps in when you feel like you are spinning your wheels. Roberta, because you have likely tried different measures without success, your ego can take a hold and judge your abilities. A part of why your reaction gets so strong is because you take his behaviors and make them personal about you. Although this is common for parents, especially teenage parents, to do, it isn’t your truth.
As your anger and frustration get triggered from your ego, you are going to blow. My work doesn’t say that you have to not ever blow. Sometimes, circumstances just push enough of your buttons. Yet, you are doing yourself a disservice if you don’t understand the inner wisdom coming through to support you to CREATE CHANGE!
As I teach in much greater detail through my F.E.E.L. Virtual Mastery Program (www.MichelleBersell.com/feel), your anger and frustration have much wisdom to share. Anger from a spiritual perspective is always about claiming your power. While frustration is present to tell you that the way you are going about doing things isn’t working and you need to create a shift back to your inner wisdom.
Roberta, your anger is present to tell you to claim the power you still have toward your relationship with your son. Although your ego is telling you that you are powerless in this situation, nothing could be further from the truth. Your son is reaching out to you when he admits that he attempted to steal. Your true power is tapped into when you look to what is triggering this for him. He is looking to you for guidance (no matter how much he may act that he is blowing off what you say) because he told you the truth!
Tap into your own experiences of feeling peer pressure to remember that you did (as well as myself and everyone else) dumb things to get others approval. Have compassion for yourself for your mistakes and use that to have compassion and understanding for him. Then from a loving place, ask him questions such as who he was with, what he was feeling like around them and allow him to begin to see the light of what is really going on within him. Your power is bringing out the truth to what is really going on rather than staying stuck on the surface issue of stealing.
Your frustration is your essence guiding you that things have to change. Put the onus back on him to what he thinks needs to be done to make a change. Don’t let him let his ego off easily. Guide him to stand up for his essence and the man that he wants to become. How can things change to support him to realize that within himself? You can support him but only he can claim it for himself.
The lesson is for all of us that when we lose our cool, we are buying into a version of ourselves and a version of reality that isn’t true. As a person on a path to live more consciously, you can take this experience (and every experience your emotions come up) to become in greater alignment with your truth and power!
Thanks Roberta for sharing your story! Glad to hear that you are already meditating and doing yoga, as those activities will support you to gain access to the inner wisdom that is within each of your feelings.
Live Emotionally Conscious & Live Exceptionally Well,
Before I uncovered the truth to our emotions, I would become paralyzed by my feelings and fears, even though I had been professionally trained as a psychotherapist and life coach!
