The Real Meaning to Giving More Deeply

I woke up this morning with this message “Give more deeply of yourself.”  Immediately, my ego went into over-drive with my victim story.  “What more can I give.  I already have so much going on.  What more do you want from me?”  Thankfully, the loving guidance of my essence came swooping in to remind me that to give more deeply of yourself isn’t the same as doing more!

So the question was, “How could I give more deeply?”  As I took a moment to reflect, I saw how tired I have been now that the holidays are over.  When night comes, I feel wiped out.  I reflected on how some of my silly bedtime rituals of tickle bugs and other important nonsense with the kids have been cut way back.

What I was reminded of was presence.  Maybe you are like me, where you find you have moments of presence and then it slips away. Suddenly you find yourself thinking about what else is on your list of things to do.  Rather than stay in the moment, you find your mind going off into some other place.

Others of you may rarely find presence if you are like I was, an ultimate multi-tasker.  As a parent, I found it challenging not to try to do twenty things at once.  There is so much going on at once that you become good at juggling or sink.  Many of you may feel like that is also the reality of your job as well.  This is where you get addicted to living at a pace that keeps you away from your presence.  Then you find yourself in those rare spare moments that you have, checking your email rather than just being present.

This is why it is important for all of us to ask in each moment “Am I giving deeply of myself?”  In other words, are you fully in the moment?  Are you playing full out in the everyday components of life?

Don’t forget about yourself either.  Are you giving deeply to yourself as well?  Are you listening to your needs?  Are you listening to your feelings and how they are loving guiding you?  This is where many fall short.  You simply aren’t willing to give yourself this loving attention because your ego had you believe there is too much other components to your life that need your attention.  What you are really saying to yourself is that your needs are not that important.

Now ask yourself this, if your needs aren’t that important, can you really be present?  You can’t. If you can’t be present, you really can’t truly give of yourself as you desire. Your needs are going to find some way to be addressed, unconsciously or consciously.  If your needs must find an unconscious way to be met, you will find your efforts being sabotaged.

This is part of the transformation that is occurring this year, to let go of old habits that keep us away from living more fully connected to ourselves.  You give more deeply when you are fully present with yourself first.  Being present with yourself is what allows you to be fully present with others.  This is how we truly and deeply connect.  It is through present connection that you tend to find the fun just by truly being where you are.

You have so many gifts and so much love to give!  Allow your emotions to guide you back to your truth. Your truth has huge plans for you!  What you are hearing allows you more fully understand your essence, which in turn, supports you to truly share of yourself.  You can be more open, more exposed, and more vulnerable.  In doing so, you will find yourself more deeply able to give in ways that bring you the joy and fulfillment your heart craves!

Here’s to you giving of yourself more deeply!  Please share the ways that arise within you to share of yourself in this loving and generous way below.  By giving of yourself through sharing, your heart may inspire another to give more deeply in the same way!

With love and appreciation for your giving heart -

Celebrating the Light!

I had the pure pleasure, on Sunday, watching my kids participate in a Christmas play.  It was so fun seeing them dressed up and sharing their lines with joy and pride!  What was fun about the play was that it had a casual tone, where the story of Christmas was broken down at a level so that even little kids could understand.

Interestingly, what stood out the most in this play was a story of faith.  The type of faith that is required when the guidance you are being given doesn’t make sense to your rational mind.  Then continually finding trust day by day when you don’t know for certain what your future entails.

This process of trust and faith reminds me of what is required of us when we live emotionally conscious.  Your feelings are filled with intuitive wisdom.  Your feelings will give you guidance that may not be the most comfortable step to take.  Often times, the guidance you receive will not make sense to your rational mind.

Living emotionally conscious requires great faith.  At times you probably felt like you were stumbling along in your own darkness.  The point is you kept making steps in the darkness, even though you weren’t exactly sure where it would lead you.  Where this is all leading you, my friend, is back to more of you:

• Your Gifts
• Your Truth
• Your Inner Treasure

Leading you out of this darkness is your light.  Your light is the part of you that wants you to see the gifts to every single part of you.  The light within you is what allows you to recognize how aspects of yourself that your ego rejects are the exact aspects you need to serve the world.  These aspects will simply react differently when they are treated from a place of love rather than fear.

As we now enter into the darkest day of the year, in the Northern Hemisphere, we celebrate the light moving forward.  That is why the Winter Solstice is such an honored time of year because we are welcoming in the light, both the light of the sun and the light within you.   The light within you will continue to encourage you to see all aspects of you through love rather than fear.

So whether you light the menorah, wrap up your Christmas tree in lights, or want to honor the sun for bringing forward longer daylight hours, what is clear is that this is a time to celebrate light.  This time of year is a celebration of finding the light in the darkness.  The light is always present to guide you, regardless of how dark it may seem.  Light, like love, always exists.

This holiday, celebrate the light within you and the light within others.  Trust in your light and it will shine even more brightly.  In return, you will be sharing your light with others without even knowing you are doing so.  Naturally you light comes pouring forth simply because you had the courage to have trust and faith.

This holiday season, may you remember:

*You too are a miracle.

*You too are a beacon of light.

*You too are meant to use your love and light to serve the world.

*You too are an instrument of peace and love.

 

May your light shine brightly in trust, faith and love this holiday season!

The All-Encompassing Gift of YOU!

You are a gift!  You know this right?  At the same time, you might find yourself with temporary amnesia with the holiday season here.  Why?  Well, besides the fact that you may feel pulled in twenty different directions due to the holidays, you are also in a season of darkness (at least for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere).  This means that besides contending with shortened hours of light, a part of you is being lulled in by the darkness that exists within you.

The darkness within you is not bad or negative.  It is simply those parts of yourself you don’t want to address.  In our day to day living, you are most likely not going to want to address this part of you.  Maybe you feel you don’t have time to address this part of you or perhaps you judge that this part of you exists.   Add in the hustle and bustle of the holidays and these parts of you are sure to go ignored.  Yet these parts of you that desperately want your attention are likely going to make a holiday appearance –    like it or not.   Here are some common examples of what you may be feeling inside you:

• You feel saddened from missing someone you were once close with that is no longer in your life.
• You feel saddened and frustrated that you cannot afford to give as much as you would like.
• You feel like a spoiled brat because a part of you has so many things you want to receive.
• You feel undeserving to receive a gift.
• You feel stressed out by all the demands the holidays bring.
• You feel alone.
• You feel like Porky the Pig because you haven’t been eating well or exercising.
• You feel angry or depressed because you aren’t getting along with a family member and they are ruining your holidays.

Wowza, the above examples that are coming from your ego don’t give you that warm holiday sensation does it?  Some of these feelings are harsh and judgmental, others feel downright sad.  This makes it even more likely that no one, not even your consciously evolving self, wants to pay attention to how that part of you feels.  Yet the darkness beckons us to reconcile these parts that we have left out of our light.

To reconcile, you want to listen to your feelings and understand their meaning beyond that which the ego is demonstrating to you.  Your ego wants to berate you to keep you small because smallness equates to protection in the ego’s world.  Yet as you learn the higher consciousness messages to all that you feel, you know that these messages are trying to tell you that these aspects of yourself need your love.

That part of you that feels undeserving is begging for self-recognition.  The part of you that feels like a spoiled brat simply needs to be shown by you in your day to day life how special you really are.  The part of you judging your weight wants to be nurtured and taken care of rather than have your needs cast aside.  You get the point now don’t you?

The holidays are about celebrating and calling forth the light within you and within the world.  This is what miracles are made from and they can occur within you as well.   By bringing the light into those parts that you would rather remain hidden in the dark, you call for a miracle from within.  This is the miracle of unconditional love.  By more fully giving this to yourself, you are going to be able to more fully give unconditional love to those most important to you.  In doing so, you have learned to create the inner peace, joy and presence we all crave – especially during the holidays.

You are the all encompassing gift of light.  Remember this by bringing forward the light within those dark aspects of you.   As you do, the more light you bring into the world.  What better gift can there truly be than more light and love?

Wishing you a special holiday season filled with love and joy for the miracle that you are!

The Shadow of The Feminine

As many of you already know, 11-11-11, represents an opening, a shift to a new way of living our lives.  In other words, this is a time to live with new and greater consciousness.  This shift in consciousness reiterates that how our world is currently functioning is not working.  We are at a time of transition.  Yet, what does this transition mean and how will it work?

According to Evolving Door Astrology (www.EvolvingDoor.ca), Regulus, a star that symbolizes the age of old patriarchy and male energy domination, is on the cusp of moving into Virgo.  This means we are transitioning to bring forward feminine energy.  As the world has shown, this shift isn’t easy.  There is breaking-down in order to build back up to create what will better serve the highest good.

 

The same type of breakdown is being called within you.  Each and every one of you is being guided to go within and see what actions, thoughts, beliefs and motives are no longer serving you.  As you do, you see how old unconscious patterns aren’t serving you.  Perhaps you consciously focus on bringing in more of the feminine by slowing down and honoring life.  At the same time, you know you have things that need to get done.  That masculine energy pulls on you that you need to serve more or must make money, which means you need to take action and have discipline.

For myself, the feminine and masculine energy has often felt like an internal tug of war.  For a while, I am fine putting my health and joy as a priority.  When I did, less work got done but, I was happier.  Yet, as less work got done, I became stressed about my family’s need for income coming through my work.  Suddenly, my masculine energy was in charge of me, filled with new visions and goals that I had to work hard and strive to meet.

The truth was my ego has gotten a hold of both my masculine and feminine energy.  My ego used the masculine energy as a whip, pulling on my internal dialogue that what I was doing was never enough.  Of course, I was not conscious of this.  Yet as I went in deeper I found my ego working me by saying “You are not good enough! Work harder!  You are not supporting your family!”  I would blindly follow the ego’s instructions and then would get totally burned out.

My feminine energy would be there to save me, telling me to take care of myself.  Yet, even though I thought I was consciously in my feminine energy, I was in my ego’s version.  In my ego’s version of the feminine, it is all about maintaining peace.  My motto was  “I am at peace and my life is an expression of peace.”  Yet this isn’t maintainable either – at least not in my family.  I have kids, husband and work, all of which have their needs and struggles that absolutely collide head on with my peace, no matter how hard I tried.

It wasn’t until I embraced the shadow of the feminine and the duality of all, that I was able to allow myself to more deeply BE.  To BE, is to allow the shadow of the feminine to come through and TRUST!  The shadow of the feminine is breaking down what isn’t working within us and in our lives – the absolute opposite of peace!  This creates feelings such as overwhelm, a sense of loss and a desire to cling onto what you know.  You’ll want to turn to your masculine energy to fix and strive for better or for more.  Yet consciously bringing in the feminine means to allow for the break down and then trust.  BE.  Create the space for what wants to come forward through flow rather than automatically strive to make it better.

Your ego has you believe you get closer to your desires when you strive.  This is the masculine energy that has dominated us and lives deep within all our psyches.  Yet if you look back on your life, you will find that some of your greatest gifts happened when you did not have expectations – perhaps when expectations were even gone.

For me, when I was least expecting a relationship is when I met my husband.  When I was at a low with my career and was ready to give up, is when my first book was birthed.  I was unconscious of the feminine energy at work in those cases.  I was not aware how I was broken down in order to make room for my desires.

Now we are being called to allow her to work through us consciously.  To actually support her to breakdown, let go, and listen.  This is the work of 11-11-11, the opening, the feminine energy that is coming through in the world.  This is our challenge.  Yet the sooner we jump into her shadow, the more we open ourselves to the absolute miracles she brings forward within each of our lives.

Stay attuned to your being-ness and your emotions. They are a gateway, present to support you to make this internal shift.  In doing so, you are more accessible to become part of the miracle making process that is so needed in our world!

With deep love for you, your magnificence and brilliance!

 

 

 

 

Is Your Partner Taking Away Some of Your Juiciness?

Juicy is such a great word, which to me, describes being alive, fully present and expressive.   Your juiciness is a result of the love you are holding for yourself, life and others.  In other words, your juiciness level ultimately depends on you.

At the same time, your relationships impact your level of juiciness as well.   Because of the love you have for your partner, you may find that you have allowed some behaviors to slide.  Now, of course, we all need to be flexible in our relationships.  The question is if you are allowing a behavior to continue that takes away from your juiciness.   What would that behavior be?  The one behavior that keeps showing up and drives you absolutely crazy!

 

Here are some recent examples I have heard lately, where a partner is guilty of:

• Not providing adequate enough help around the house,
• Being distracted when you show signs of affection,
• Cutting you off in conversation, or
• Teasing you about something that really bothers you.

The behavior could be anything.  The point is that your partner is unconscious of how this is truly impacting you, as well as him or herself!  You see, you have probably brought up the issue previously before, right?  Yet, for one reason or another, the behavior sneaks back into your relationship.  In the vast majority of cases, this is not intentional of your partner. He/she simply does not realize the impact this has on the juiciness of your relationship.

Try this step by step process:

1. Identify how you feel when your partner engages in the behavior.
2. Share how you recognize that your partner is not engaging in the behavior to intentionally hurt you. ** (See Note)
3. Explain how his/her behavior makes you feel.  Ie: I feel ignored, which makes me really sad or I feel depleted, which makes me angry and frustrated.
4. Describe how your resentment unintentionally comes out.  I now realize that this is why I don’t want to do this activity that you love or I now realize this is why I don’t have the energy to give to you once the kids are in bed.
5. Describe how a change in behavior would benefit your partner. ie When you don’t cut me off in a conversation, I feel seen and heard by others.  When I feel this way, it makes me want to share more of myself with you.
6. Create a signal.  A signal can be a word, hand gesture (the middle finger generally not a good one to useJ), or pull on one of his/her fingers. Whatever can get your partner’s attention to recognize he/she is engaging in the behavior.  Don’t worry about other people sensing something is up.  Even if they do, you can explain and I am certain if they are in a relationship, they can relate!  Bottom line, make it fun!
7. Show Gratitude.  Since your partner is making a conscious effort, you make the conscious effort to share more of your juiciness with him/her.

By partaking in these steps, you are motivating your partner to change.  Your partner is only human.  This means you cannot expect him/her to fully understand what his/her behavior truly means to you.  Plus, by consciously sharing more of your juiciness, you are setting up for future shifts to occur with greater ease.  You and your relationship should include juicy expressions of both of you.  Having this type of honest conversation and healthy boundary setting allows the juiciness to flow between you and your partner even more!

Here’s to you and your juiciest expression of self!

 

** Important Note: If you actually feel that your partner is intentionally engaging in behaviors to hurt you, PLEASE, use this as a WARNING SIGNAL!  What is happening is underlying resentments are going to build up between the both of you and sabotage your relationship.  If both of you sense underlying resentments exist, see a marital therapist before it is too late.  Ask any marital therapist what ends marriages and they’ll say “the couple waited too long to get support.”

 

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