Why Healthy Boundaries Lead to Greater Happiness!

Boundaries are not about having a brick wall (or some other block you cannot penetrate) around you.  Healthy boundaries simply allow you to filter out what isn’t for your highest good.  In any type of relationship whether familial, marital or friendship you want to have healthy boundaries in order to ensure the following:

A)    Mutual Respect

B)    Trust

C)     Connection

Having these components in a relationship allow you to be able to work through any disagreement.  More importantly, having great relationships allows you to continue to flourish, see the gifts within you reflected through another and grow as an individual.   Your relationships can be an energy drain or a source of replenishment  to support you to remember the full truth of your potential!

When I was on Fox, I spoke of some deal breakers (to see interviews go to http://www.michellebersell.com/html/video07.html ).  What we didn’t have time to go into was in any relationship how a breach of trust without remorse AND being willing to do something different is truly reason to move on.   This can happen with infidelity as well as with irresponsible financial decisions in a marriage.  In friendships, trust can be broken as well through something as life consuming as a drug problem or as basic as gossip.  In these cases, you have to know your limitations in that you cannot change others, yet you can make decisions to change your circumstances.

To create healthy boundaries you must a) know what feels good and right versus bad/off and wrong to you  b)  be willing to express your feelings to others  and c)stay firm in your convictions by not becoming attached to others reactions

Creating healthy boundaries in the short-term can certainly be challenging.  In the long-term, however, you are setting yourself up to have ideal circumstances to feel the joy of life in the company of others who are a true reflection of love!

Happy Relating & Boundary Creating!

Caring = Expansiveness!

Let me start off by acknowledging that I know you are a caring person.  You are probably saying “Michelle, how can you know this if we haven’t met in person?” Simple – You are a caring person because you are a part of this community, one that focuses on how to consciously evolve.  Trust me, this only interests caring people!

As a caring person myself, I also recognize it can feel challenging at times to demonstrate how much you care.  Last week for instance, I wasn’t as attuned to my kids as I would have liked to be.  Normally, when they come home from school, I put my focus solely on them, their day, and their responsibilities that they need to take care of.  Much of last week, I just wasn’t there.  The idea of trying to multi-task with all my kids’ homework, while creating a nutritious home-cooked meal was too much.  Instead, I just wanted to cook in peace, which left me acting somewhat short with them.  Quite honestly, I don’t think there is anything wrong with having those moments.  We are human and have limitations are at times.

Besides knowing your limitations, it is also important to realize how expansive you can be when it comes to caring.  I am sure you know what it feels like to be moved by an experience that you feel so open and waves upon waves of love run through you.  I was fortunate enough to attend an event on Saturday that was led by my friend and colleague Dr. Mollie Marti of www.BestLifeDesign.com .  At that amazing event, I was awoken to remember to expand my sense of caring.  You see, it isn’t that I didn’t know about caring previously.  People and experiences are placed in our lives to support us to remember at a deeper level.  When you are attuned to your feelings, you will feel touched when you hear something that you are supposed to remember.  Then you must decide if you are going to act on how you feel or rationalize your way out of expanding.

Of course, you know that caring matters, but is there a way that it could be amped up? For me the answer was/is yes!  I am not just talking about my kids either, because not completely focusing on them is the exception rather than the rule.  I am talking about expanding yourself to care in ways that go beyond your norm.

By challenging yourself in a way that is not your typical – perhaps even makes you feel uncomfortable, you will tap into expansive energy within you.  From this energy you feel and believe that anything is possible because it is.  Think about for a minute what is important to you and then think about what prevents you from putting more of your energy toward that.  We each have gifts to share, whether it is time, money, talent, or love.  Which of those makes you the most uncomfortable to share?  Which do you have a block or an excuse?  We must remember we are all wealthy beyond measure with treasures in our life.  The more you can acknowledge that by being willing to show you care by giving of your treasure (especially that which your mind has you believe is the scarcest), the more you will experience expansiveness in your life.  This is when the love within you expands beyond measure.

To experience the depths of expansion, you must be certain you have enough inner fuel to give.  Each and every day, how will you celebrate your existence? What brings you joy? When you give to yourself in this manner, you declare you matter.  When you know you matter, you know you have gifts to give and that it is your responsibility to share them.  That is what being a good steward of yourself and others is.

I also want to say that I hope you know that I care about you.  I know you have your own hopes, dreams, gifts and love to share.  I am honored that you have remained connected with me to give you authentic guidance toward claiming what’s in your heart.  Without you in my life, my passion would have no place to be shared.  I honor you for being willing to explore with me that which is often ignored or forgotten in order to live more expansively and fulfilled!

Continue to be touched by your emotions, as your feelings are always guiding you as to how you can expand.  Listen through the vehicle of love, so you can answer your personal calling of how you can share yourself with the world! It really is these simple, yet profound steps that allow you to feel filled with a love of life and everyone in it!

With Love,

Support for the Busy, Depleted Woman who Wants to Evolve

Hi Michelle,  I am a married mom of 2.  It’s been about a year and half that I started my spiritual journey.  I feel I am going at such a slow pace though.  It seems so desperately slow.  I am the sole supporter of my family………..I work 10 hour days, 4 days a week.  And when I’m home I feel I am so busy with errands, appointments, kids, etc.  I have no time for myself, for my spirit.  Funds are scarce so I cannot sign up for any of the wonderful spiritual events I come across.  I do not feel my husband is very supportive, but then again maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s just my ego.  I wish I had an answer………….Maybe you can help me. I know I need to work on myself, I just don’t know how.  Thank you.

In love and light, Evelyn

Hi Evelyn,

Thank you for sharing your story.  With having 3 kids in the span of 18 months, I very much understand your dilemma.  I also know from experience there are absolute measures you can take now.  I’ll give you two to begin with:

1.    Shift Your Power Back to You! When people write in for support, I often share that there is a victim lurking in their story.  You too have been caught by your ego but don’t worry, we all go there!  With every victim story, it isn’t that you don’t have justification for feeling like you do.  The problem is that from the victim standpoint you don’t have power.  The truth is you do have power.

The easiest step I ever took was putting myself at the top of the list.  It really is simple.  You write your normal “to-do” list out and you put your own need/desire first.  When you implement this you will find two things.

A.   You have the tendency to get more done than you normally would because you are happier, more present, and less stressed.

B.   Whatever you don’t get done won’t seem that important.

Doing this simple step will change your life because your actions state that you matter!

2.    Listen, Honor and Act on Your F.E.E.L.ings!  Although you don’t share your emotions in your story, I can sense how you feel.  I sense frustration and resentment toward your husband and all the responsibilities you carry.  I sense you feel alone and lost – leading you to feel sad that you aren’t able to move forward with your life as you would like.

I have GREAT news for you, because your feelings are present to guide you through this situation.  What this means is that how you are feeling is spot-on accurate, when you shift your understanding of your emotions from the emotional stone-ages to F.E.E.L.: Feel Every Emotion as Love! When you learn how to F.E.E.L., you understand that your frustration is due to you doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

If you listen to your frustration you will hear two stories.  One is the ego’s story, the other is coming from your essence.  Your ego’s story will keep you stuck blaming your husband and focusing in on his short-comings.  When you listen to your essence ( this is your true self, which has innate wisdom), you will find your frustration is wanting you to notice there is another victim story.

You are catching onto this because you suggest that your ego is involved.  It isn’t that you are wrong about your husband not supporting you.  If that is how you feel, you are correct.  Where your ego comes into play is in not being able to see how you set up your relationship to be this way.  Your frustration is telling you there is a new way to relate to your husband to create true intimacy and partnership. Your first step is to share how you are feeling with your husband from the place of love, inner knowingness and power toward yourself.  This will come across much differently than what our egos have us do which is whine, nag or walk away.

If you aren’t sure how to act on your frustration through love, consider investing in the F.E.E.L. Virtual Mastery Program.  Investing in yourself will shift your sense of abundance because you are claiming your worth.  The bottom line is to get affordable support because having a life that feels filled with love, joy and fulfillment is worth it!  Go to http://www.michellebersell.com/feel/ for more information.

Your sense of feeling stuck Evelyn is to let you know that you have to get out of the ego and make changes that support your essence.  Now is the time.  Don’t give up on you!

I wish you emotional abundance as you move forward on your journey!

The Shopping Game – A Fun Guide to Conscious, Abundant Spending

Given that my birthday is in October and cool weather is coming in quickly where I live, I usually end up doing a bit of shopping to update my fall/winter wardrobe.  Shopping is something that I have a lot of fun doing, especially as I have learned to do it consciously.  In fact, I have so much fun, I have a developed a game to make shopping be what it should be – purchases that enhance your Spirit rather than weigh or deplete your Essence!  My friend encouraged me to share this game, as it really does allow you to stay aligned with your Authentic Self as you shop without either negating your Essence’s desires or your sense of abundance.

Unless you are a Freegan, who are people who opt out of consumerism altogether by dumpster diving (very noble, but not for me at this time), shopping can bring up challenges.

You will feel challenged when you:

• Only buy what you need rather than what you want
• Struggle with what you feel you deserve to have versus what you can afford
• Feel weighted down because you over-spent
• Fight with guilt afterward even though you didn’t over-spend
• Buy things you never use (especially because it was a good deal)

At one point or another, I have done all of the above, so I know firsthand how any one of the above will make you imbalanced.  The above challenges occur when your sense of abundance and worthiness are reacting in an unhealthy manner.  Although there is not enough room to get into the depth of this topic here (more to come in the near future though!), the shopping game is a way to find health and consciousness all in one.

What is best about this game is that it can be applied to whether you are shopping at a grocery store, thrift store, or department store.  The bottom line is that abundance really isn’t about how much something costs.  Abundance is how you feel.

Here is how the game is played:

1. Before setting out shopping, determine what you are willing to spend
2. Go into any store and don’t look at the prices
3. Gather the items that catch your eye (again, no price peaking)
4. Determine whether you:                                                                                                                                                          A. Need and love the item                                                                                                                                                          B. Love but there is no need                                                                                                                                                   C. Fits a need but don’t love                                                                                                                                                    D. Entices you but don’t love
5. Automatically get rid of Category D items above (entices you but don’t love).  This is shopping that will leave you empty.  Even though a part of you is saying, there is some value you don’t have a strong enough reaction to justify the purchase. (Common traps are you look good in it but don’t love it, you like that is was produced consciously etc… are not enough alone to justify spending).
6. Start with category “A” items (those you need and love) and ask yourself what you are willing to pay for that item, in terms of what you feel the item is worth and in which you would still feel good spending.
7. Now look a the price                                                                                                                                                                          A. If the price you are willing to pay is more than the price tag and it is a category A item, this item is now a probable purchase                                                                                                                                                                       B. If the price you are willing to pay is less than the price tag, put the item back                                                                 C. Repeat the process with the categories B and C

8. Go back to step #1, what you are willing to spend.  Highest ranking goes to those in category A and even those items can be categorized.

9. If there is room for category B and C items, you may do all or one of the following

A. Determine if you can do without the category C item until you find one you both love and need, if not make the purchase                                                                                                                                                                                                        B. Weigh if a category B item gives you both joy and a sense of value for what you are getting                                                                                                                                                                                                            C. If it is produced locally, sustainably, organically, recycled or fair trade, move up its ranking in a given category

**Special note: Keep an eye out for the over-active ego.  You will know this is occurring if there is no room for having a need, which means there is a struggle with self-worth causing a sense of deprivation.  In other words, you tell yourself something like I have perfectly good shoes, I don’t need boots (even though you live in a snowy climate).  Conversely, if you feel that everything falls into category A, your ego is overactive in a different way because you are substituting your worth with items.  )If you struggle with either of these scenarios, consider filling out my evaluation form for personal support, as this is impacting you in many ways outside of shopping).

This process is both fun and easy.  (Trust me, you’ll get the guidelines down in one or two tries). My friends and I LOVE it when we are doing a little wardrobe update, as it keep everything in perspective.  Plus, you can get each other to guess what their purchase price would be.  What I think is fun is that you can fill up your dressing room.  You aren’t “depriving” yourself from trying something on because of price.  In the end, you will find that there is usually only one or two things that you will end up purchasing.  Even better is that you will FEEL good inside and out for using your money in a way that feels good to you.  Now that is abundance!

Here’s to you living emotionally conscious and exceptionally well!

Michelle

Need a little more R-E-S-P-E-C-T?

One reader wrote in the following:

Hello, Michelle:

(My letter must remain anonymous.)

My problem is I feel I am controlled and “bullied” by so many people in my life. I feel as if I do what my spouse wants, my close friends, etc., b/c of the way they co erce me into doing things for them. I have wondered if I misinterpret their assertiveness as bullying…but it feels like I am forced to do what they want, or they are angry with me.

Some examples: if I don’t spend our house money on what my husband would like, then he doesn’t speak to me for days. If I don’t pick up my friend’s children when she needs a favor, then she won’t call me until I call her. If I don’t drive to see my friend 7 hours away, then she’ll tell me I never have time for her, and will be curt with me the next time I do call her.

The list goes on and on…all this giving from me, and it feels like I never get.

What is this? Is everyone ‘s life full of people like this???

Thank you.

A.

Dear A.,

You are absolutely correct, you are being controlled.  Yet, to have someone control you, they have something you need.  That is how control works.  What you need is their approval and acceptance of you.  Because you need this from others, you give your power away in relationships.  You give your power away because you are deeply tied to how others react to you.

It is common to turn to others to get approval and acceptance when you don’t give it to yourself.  The fact that you are being mistreated by close people in your life is a wake-up call.  You see, every time you dismiss your needs in a relationship, you further distance yourself from your Spirit/Authentic Self/Essence.  The more distant you are from your Essence, the more you need to rely on others to validate you.

I can tell this distance already exists because you are not tapping into your feelings, rather your focus is on other people’s feelings toward you.  (Notice in the letter above you don’t share how you feel, just others). To regain your connection to your Spirit, you need to remember to F.E.E.L.: Feel Every Emotion as Love rather than feel.

When you “feel” from the emotional stone-ages, you are going to feel angry, sad and frustrated that others are treating you this way.  You are going to feel like the victim and feel powerless.  You cry, mope, whine, maybe even act passive-aggressive at times because your ego is telling you that there is nothing you can do.  It is the other person’s fault they are so mean, disrespectful, inconsiderate etc…

When you F.E.E.L., you still feel anger, sadness and frustration yet you realize those feelings are present to serve and support you to grow in order that you can create a fulfilling life that you deserve.

• Your frustration is present for you to recognize that how you are going about handling your relationships is no longer working.  Maybe it used to work for you in the short-term to feel validated by others by doing whatever they want but you are to painfully aware of how this is limiting you now.  It is time to take different action.
• Your sadness is present to support you to get clear about what that action should be. In your case, your Essence is begging you to begin to validate your choices regardless of how others react. Your Spirit is also desires clarity around how you receive love from you.
• Your anger will be present to support you to own your power and take action to support your Essence to evolve.  Your Spirit is angry that your ego wins.  Honor your eternal fire when it ignites to serve rather than hinder you.  Your Essence knows that you deserve people in your life who honor you and make you feel good.  Why don’t you believe it?  Why are you willing to allow others to treat you this way?  Your anger will be present supporting you to claim “ No Longer Will I Allow This – I DESERVE BETTER!”

There is so much more that is awaiting you A.  Use the F.E.E.L. process to guide you to take those next steps.  There is so much more that I know your Essence is trying to communicate with you.  Listen to your emotions through the voice of love and you will find your way!

Wishing you the love and honor you deserve in your relationships, always!

5 Ways to Create Greater Inner Peace

Finding an inner sense of peace can sometimes feel elusive. When stress or imbalance show up, apply one of these strategies that gets to the heart of the matter and witness the flow of peace to enter you!

1. Detect the needs of your ego: Your ego likes external ways of defining when you will be happy or fulfilled.  Rather than buying into the “I’ll be happy when “syndrome, recognize the lies of your ego presented to you through your fears.  Chose one action that would bring you a sense of fulfillment in the present moment and witness peacefulness fill you.

2. Let go of expectation: When you set up expectations in your mind, you unintentionally limit yourself.  The potential that exists in any given moment is beyond what your expectations can imagine.  When you let go of expectation, you feel at peace because you know your experience is always opportunity!

3. Take action: I know it may sound counter-intuitive, yet if you feel stressed or anxious, it is often because you are procrastinating taking action on your next step that will bring you a greater sense of fulfillment toward life.  This happens when you buy into fears more than your internal guidance.  Rather than looking at the big picture, think what one small step can I take that will bring me greater peace.

4. Be compassionate & loving toward current self – When you don’t feel at peace, you are going to be judging & comparing yourself.  How is this serving you? Not so good, I am sure!  List the ways you can look at your circumstances with greater love and compassion to tap into your inner truth and peace.

5. Choose a flow state over rational mind: The shoulds and responsibilities in life tend to overpower what your essence really craves.  Determine to put the needs of your essence first for a day, an hour or a week.  Take note of how more peaceful you feel when you become the priority and the important stuff still gets done.

Wishing you the inner sense of peace that brings you a sense of calm and inner knowing that allows you to live with greater ease!

The KEY to find and/or elevate your PASSION toward life!

I often work with people supporting them to find their passion.   They are frustrated not living a life that feels fulfilling and are ready to take action.  Action, however, is not the answer. In fact action can be your ego’s way of keeping you away from what really needs to done to find or elevate your passion, which is taking a step away from action.

Taking a step away from action is a way to maintain or create healthy boundaries around your daily responsibilities.   Doing so protects your essence from those messages of your ego and rational mind that tells you more is required of you.  Your essence needs this type of protection with boundaries, so you have the freedom of non-doing.

Non-doing is what I consider going within.  When you “go within,” you aren’t going anywhere.  You are becoming aware of what already exists within and around you at all times.  Simply stated, you are “doing” minimal.

I believe there are times when we are called to “do” minimal, as much as we are called to give of ourselves to our maximum abilities.   Although your ego will have you believe that you are not accomplishing in your minimal moments, I believe those minimal periods are prime with spiritual growth and opportunity.

Your passions become clearer and more energized.  You are even more attuned to your inner wisdom and guidance.  You are being called to clear out what energetically is no longer needed.

Your inner process will not be deemed by others (or your ego for that matter) as accomplishing much.  Energetically, however, you are setting yourself up to take that important next step that will guide you toward even greater fulfillment and passion toward life!

To get there, you must overcome the block of your ego, which can be uncovered through these questions:

• Do you hear your essence when it is calling you to do minimal or are you going at such a fast pace, you can’t even hear the call?
• Or is it that even when you do hear that call for minimal, you instead decide to push yourself to keep going at a maximum pace?
• Does the idea of going for minimal seem impossible given your responsibilities?
• What are the countless ways you create activity in order to prevent yourself from going toward minimal and what is the real fear you are avoiding?

Your ego is going to make the idea of minimal seem as if you are completely walking away from your responsibilities.  This simply isn’t the truth.  Your ego wants you to view minimal in very black and white terms in order to keep you in your fear mode.  When you live based on any of the fear mentioned above, you are taking away your fullest expression of living a fulfilled and passionate life.

The bottom line is this:

Do you trust yourself enough to allow yourself to do minimal?  If so, your essence will guide you on what your minimal will be for you given your current circumstances!  This means if there is room for great degrees of minimal then that may be called for you and if not, there will still be ways to create minimal in a degree that works for your highest good.   When you do trust yourself, your minimal becomes your maximum toward giving, compassion and surrender to your spiritual growth and evolution!

Of course, you know all of this deep within and this is simply a reminder of the true importance of giving in to the calling to be/do minimal.  Just remember to ENJOY because soon enough you will be called back to the flow of maximum energy output toward giving and fulfilling your life’s external work.  This is the flow that we call life and when you go with the flow, you are regenerated and renewed to live passionately, joyfully and abundantly in all ways!

Blessings to you always!

Why false perceptions matter

Do you ever find that people have a perception of you that isn’t necessarily true?  People tend to make assumptions about you and your life base on some of the external components to your life.  Do you ever find that you actually want them to believe in that perception they have about you even though it isn’t accurate? I have!

I have learned from experience, however, how something as seemingly harmless as going along with a false perception impacts you.  The impact is unconscious and can have lasting impact.  The reason is because when you go along with a false perception a part of you is hiding – typically hiding from your own shame and judgment.

Allow me to share a recent experience to explain this concept in more detail.  Recently, I was being congratulated by someone I knew fairly well on some recent successes.  They also alluded to the idea that I must be enjoying the financial rewards to my success.  At that moment, I felt a slight twinge.  A part of me so easily could have went with what she was saying by not agreeing or disagreeing and just move along in our conversation.  No harm done right?  Wrong!

What that twinge was about was the fight between my ego and my authentic self.  I knew a part of me wanted her to buy into the false perception that I am currently swimming in the dough!  That was exactly the problem.  Because of my work with emotional consciousness, I knew this was an opportunity for me to recognize that deep within me judgment about my finances existed.  I simply told her that her assumption was not the case.  After our conversation finished was when my inner work began.

Utilizing the tools I teach, I began to play detective regarding what I was judging. Fortunately, I am very fine tuned to my feelings and rather than blow them off, I saw this as a gift that I wanted to claim!  That is the beauty regarding your feelings because they are always available to allow you to expand and grow even more.  Obviously there was more growth for me to do around this topic!

In regard to finances, I have personally grown to understand that my needs and desires are always taken care of, so that wasn’t the issue.  The fear and judgment that came up was in regard to my profession.  I felt shame and embarrassment around the idea that should you (meaning this community) find out about the amount of money I make, you would deem me as no longer credible.  Of course, this is a projection of my own judgments.  The shame is because of my own judgment that exists, even though logically I know it isn’t true.  That is the thing about fears, they aren’t logical.

Even though fears are not completely logical, you will always have others that will fuel your fears.  After discussing this upcoming blog with a few of my peers – coaches, business experts etc.., they told me it was career suicide for me to share my process with you.  I was told that I want others to see me professionally as the image of success.

Image, however, is exactly what I believe hides us from being able to live authentically, freely and more empowered lives.  I know from experience that a part of my potential would be lost should I give into the fear.  So, I choose not to buy into the fear.  I knew that you judge me based on the value of my content, whether it supports you to grow and evolve in your life as well, and not on any image that pretends I don’t have my own process.  In fact, because I do have my own process, I feel that my experiences support me to further understand the traps and ways in which we unconsciously hinder ourselves.

The point of me sharing this with you is not about whether or not I make enough money.  The point is how false perceptions can be an opportunity for you to recognize your fears.    Sometimes your fears jump out.  To consciously grow, however, you want to be a detective to search for what else is waiting within you to evolve away from the ego and into more of your potential.

False perceptions happen all the time because we have the tendency to want people to see us at our best.  You rejoice in sharing the good and blessings that you are able to experience. You need to make sure that you aren’t hiding behind the good in order to remain distant from the judgments and fears within you.

Should you find yourself tempting to hide behind a false perception, use the experience to see how your ego wants you to buy into not being enough for where you are currently at in your life.  This is how shifts begin by not needing what is false to be a part of your identity or self worth.   When you no longer need the illusions of the ego, your ego can let go and make room for creating more of what you desire.    I know this because I have used this process to change many aspects of my life.  The work isn’t always easy but it is definitely worth doing!

Love and Gratitude for YOU!

You know when you have those moments of profound gratitude and appreciation in life?  Well, this morning was one of those mornings for me and what I was feeling profound appreciation, love and gratitude was for you.  I am so honored that you are a part of this community.  With the information overload that we are in, you choose to get one more email, take time out of your day to open it up and read it.  Thank You!

I also want to say that I honor you for the path you are on to enhance your life as well as your continued commitment to your personal evolution.  No one really sees the time, effort and energy you have committed to this part of yourself and it often goes unacknowledged.  I acknowledge you for choosing to expand rather than contract.

What I really feel the connection is between me and you is about expansive energy.  I don’t know your face, we aren’t physically together, yet I feel a connection.  Usually, I try to support people to recognize the expansive energy that is within negative emotions.  After all, it is a part of our human experience that often gets ignored or contorted.

What I sensed today is a need to remember the energy of love that is hard to define, yet exists.  Of course, you know it.  You feel it all the time with your family, friends and nature but what about the love that has no or little physical connection.  The connection we have is different.  There is a small physical component as you see my emails, yet the email is not what our connection is about.  We bond through experiences, feelings, thoughts and the words that celebrate or bring greater understanding to our day to day experiences.  Do we dare call that energy love?  I do!

I just want you to know that I feel your energy as well.  I thank you for the energy, thoughts and love you send my way.

I also want to celebrate the expansive energy within you in all its forms.  Today, may it be a day that you honor yourself for the energy you give to others and all of life without even knowing it.  You are life affirming and it is felt!

Love is in the negative and the positive and it is just up to us to recognize it.  Thank you for choosing me to be one of your humble guides, as I use my own stumbling blocks along the way to share with you the love that is within all that we feel.  We are all meant to be the givers and recipients of love.  The more we are open to that in our lives through all of our connections, the more love expands.  Thank you for allowing my heart to expand by receiving my thoughts, feelings and energy through each email I send your way.

Wishing many continued blessings to awe inspiring you, as you continue to live emotionally conscious and exceptionally well!

The real process of making your dreams a reality

Do you ever feel weighed down, filled with self-doubt or procrastinating?  Good, these are all really good signs that you are on your way to making your dreams happen!  You think I am kidding, I am not.  The truth is that when you go for making a positive shift happen in your life, you are going to run into some internal obstacles.  The reason is that you are being called to expand and share more of yourself in one way or another.

Of course, your ego isn’t going to allow you to claim more of your authentic self and potential without putting up a fight.  As you get closer to taking the next step on your path to claiming potential, you are going to run into self-doubt.  These doubts are going to make you procrastinate and ultimately feel weighted down.

You would think that your goal is to try to get rid of your weighted down feelings and doubts so you can move forward, right?  Wrong!   Making your goal to be getting rid of your negative thoughts and feelings can set you up for an internal battle that you won’t win!  You automatically lose because your energy is being wasted on your ego.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of the self-help tools currently available unknowingly guide you to focus more of your energy and beliefs on your ego rather than your inner truth and power.  Your negative feelings have a more significant meaning that goes beyond the ego, if and when you learn how to let go of the ego drama.

So how do you let go of the ego drama?

SURRENDER! When you consciously choose to surrender to your ego, you aren’t engaging in the battle.  Doing so consciously allows you to listen to what messages your ego is sharing with you.  Now you have those messages out in the open and you see how either ridiculous or repetitive and non-serving they are.  Once the ego feels it has been heard, your authentic voice will have room to share the necessary insight that will support you to move forward.  Then it is up to you to choice which message is going to serve you to obtain your dream.

Rather than surrender, what most people do is try to dismiss, positive think over or rise above their ego message.  Although it sounds nice, it doesn’t work.  You must consciously choose if you want to do what sounds nice or what will actually support you to move forward.  Doing what sounds nice in this instance is reacting based on the old-world understanding regarding your feelings.  Even though you may convince yourself that your ego has diminished, it is impacting you in more unconscious ways that will keep you internally struggling and stagnant.   Rather than freeing the energy of your ego, you are unconsciously empowering it while all along distancing yourself from the true insight your essence is offering you.

Ask yourself what you are afraid of when it comes to surrendering to your ego and that will tell you the power your ego still holds over you.  The answer is to find internal peace and it begins by surrendering to all aspects of you!  This is how you will be able to truly F.E.E.L.: Feel Every Emotion as Love and more profoundly open yourself to the gifts within you.  When those feelings of doubt creep in, rather than weigh you down, F.E.E.L. will give you the insight you need to move forward.  As you trust and follow your insight, feelings that once weighed you down shift to bring you more energy and vitality toward life.  In doing so, your dreams become a reality!

It is an honor to have you join the evolution to live emotionally conscious by realizing how F.E.E.L.: Feel Every Emotion as Love is life changing! If you would like to know how to apply F.E.E.L. more aptly into your own life, consider my F.E.E.L. Virtual Mastery Program at http://www.michellebersell.com/feel/ (While your ego is telling you I am selling to you, your essence knows it is my passion to teach you to hear the truth to your emotions & empower your essence.  Let your essence guide you to determine if this is the support you need to move forward by trying the program risk free with a 100% money-back guarantee.)

Here’s to you living emotionally conscious and exceptionally well,

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