The first three words were “I’m a FRAUD!”
That was 2005, the year of my emotional and spiritual breakdown. Here I was a psychotherapist and life coach, living a really nice life – loving husband, three healthy kids, nice neighborhood. You get the idea.
I had moments when I felt truly happy.
Yet, I would also have times when I felt sad, anxious, jealous, guilty – you name it and I had no idea why.
My reaction was “How dare I feel this way! My life is good. So many other people have it much worse. Why can’t I just be grateful for what I have? Why can’t I just be happy? What’s wrong with me?”
Right then and there I decided the sham was up. I can’t continue to give people advice when it comes to their life if I have no idea why I feel the way I do.
After a meltdown (swearing, crying, mascara running down my face due to the fact that I have spent so much time energy and money learning about our emotions but still didn’t “get” them), the next three words that changed my life were spoken.
I GIVE UP!
That is when I decided I was going to walk away from my work as a psychotherapist and life coach for good. I surrendered and asked for guidance as to what I should do next. What I knew for sure is that I was no longer going to give others support in an area that I could not understand for myself.
4:30 am the next morning I hear a voice “Michelle get up. You need to get out of bed and get on your computer and write.” My rational mind responds back “Are you crazy? I just got my twins to sleep thru the night. I am going back to bed.” The initial voice I heard, the one trying to share Inner Wisdom, was relentless. After fifteen minutes of back and forth arguing in my head between these two voices, I caved and went to my computer.
I wrote “Now what?” That was the beginning of a nine month period in which I was woken up each morning at 4:30 and received an understanding of the purpose to why we feel the way we do.
What I was taught was that how we currently understand our negative feelings is unconsciously based on our ego and fears. I was guided to see through a whole new perspective how our each of our negative feelings have specific, loving messages to ease our way.
Rather than continue to perceive negative feelings and fears as stones on our path that we have to work to get rid of or navigate around, I now recognized how they were there to support us. All we had to do was learn to “read” these “emotional stones” from the language of love rather than fear and these same negative feelings became navigational tools to support us on our path! In fact, each emotion has specific guidance that gives us unique insight and energy to move forward to claim more and more of our heart’s desires.
I call this process F.E.E.L., which is an acronym that stands for Feel Every Emotion as Love.
F.E.E.L. has been a life-changing process for myself and others because it opens you up to realize how extremely loved and cared for you are day by day, moment by moment, and emotion by emotion.
To learn more about the F.E.E.L. process, please visit the PROCESS page.
For a more traditional biography of my work, please see my Media Kit on the MEDIA page.